Hooked - Book Review

I heard about "Hooked" by Joe McIlhaney and Freda McKissic Bush from my mother-in-law who heard about it on the radio. The subtitle of the book is "New Science on how Casual Sex is Affecting our Children."

I do a lot of premarital counseling, and it is staggeringly rare for me to counsel a couple in which both parties are entering marriage sexually pure. I also do a fair amount of regular marriage counseling, and have been confident for a while that premarital sex scrambles something for couples and individuals that is hard to sort out. This book is the science behind that scrambling.

McIlhaney and Bush are both ob-gyn physicians who are a part of a group called "The Medical Institute for Sexual Health." That institute has done a significant amount of testing and research on the response of the brain to sexual activity, and their conclusions are pretty fascinating.

To sum it up, the brain responds to sexual activity a way that promotes a long-term highly-committed sexual relationship. Casual sex, "hooking up," rewires the brain and desensitizes a person (male or female) to the brain chemicals that promote connection and intimacy. Because the brain chemistry of a person bonds them to another person, a person naturally moves more quickly into another sexual experience after a sexual relationship ends, attempting to recreate what they had previously. When this happens in a younger, under-developed brain, the rewiring can be difficult to unscramble.

The book has a lot of technical jargon, but it's well-explained. If you're a parent of a teenager, or a teenager yourself, you'll be able to understand the book. It isn't a page-turner, nor written particularly well (in my opinion), though the information alone makes the read well worth it.

I don't know where McIlhaney and Bush are spiritually; this is not a "True Love Waits" book written by church ladies trying to rob high school students of a fun prom night. It is a book written by doctors based on years of scientific research. But the conclusion is thoroughly biblical: sex inside marriage is great for a reason; but outside marriage, it can destroy your current and future relationships.

Holiness

I just finished a great book called "Healthy Congregations; a Systems Approach." If you're a pastor, it's worth picking up.

I love this story about holiness near the end of the book.

It seems that a young aspirant to holiness once came to visit the hermitage of an old holy man who was sitting in the doorway of his quarters at sunset. The old man's dog stretched out across the threshold as the young spiritual seeker presented his problem to the holy man. "Why is it, Abba, that some who seek God come to the desert and are zealous in prayer but leave after a year or so, while others, like you, remain faithful to the quest for a lifetime?"

The old man smiled and replied "Let me tell you a story:

One day I was sitting here quietly in the sun with my dog. Suddenly a large white rabbit ran across in front of us. Well, my dog jumped up, barking loudly, and took off after that big rabbit. He chased the rabbit over the hills with a passion. Soon, other dogs joined him, attracted by his barking. What a sight it was, as the pack of dogs ran barking across the creeks, up stony embankments and through thickets and thorns! Gradually, however, one by one the other dogs dropped out of the pursuit, discouraged by the course and frustrated by the chase. Only my dog continued to hotly pursue the white rabbit.

In that story, young man, is the answer to your question."

The young man sat in confused silence. Finally, he said, "Abba, I don't understand. What is the connection between the rabbit chase and the quest for holiness?"

"You fail to understand," answered the old hermit, "because you failed to ask the obvious question. Why didn't the other dogs continue the chase? And the answer to that question is that they had not seen the rabbit. Unless you see your prey, the chase is just too difficult. You will lack the passion and determination necessary to perform all the hard work required by the discipline of your spiritual exercises."

Organizational Healing

A few weeks ago, one of Casen's friends fell into the corner of his parents' coffee table and busted his forehead. Just a few weeks before that, the college-aged daughter of some of our friends was run over by a pontoon boat. Her arm was almost completely severed by the motor.

For the smaller injury, the trip to the ER involved a few sutures, a band-aid, and some hugs and kisses. The boat accident required different treatment. It was a major enough wound, no sutures could hold the wound together tight. A careless doctor who attempted to "fix" the wound too quickly would have endangered the life of the person he was trying to heal. Deep wounds have to heal by a process called "granulation," where the wound is packed and the body naturally heals from the inside out. During that long, gradual process, the wound is especially vulnerable to infection and disease so doctors have to be very careful, and patient.

I think organizational wounds heal much the same way. Cosmetic, surface wounds can be serious if they are ignored but can be treated quickly. With those wounds, healing happens rapidly, often leaving no trace of the injury behind. However, deep wounds have to be treated slowly and deliberately. If you rush to close up a serious problem, you risk causing the organization even more damage.

Before your organization begins the healing process, it's probably a good idea to do some triage and figure out exactly what wounds you're dealing with. Failure to do so could have long-term implications.

Church Growth

In the last two decades, the topic of church growth has received a ton of discussion. Most of the time, when you're talking about "church growth," you're either directly or indirectly talking about the size of the congregation. To a point, that's a really good conversation to have.

The church is an organism, and growth is important for any organism. We take my son into the pediatrician on a regular basis for "well baby checkups" to make sure he is growing and developing normally. Always, one of the critical metrics the doctor checks is his size. If Casen stops growing during this point of his life, it will be a sure sign that something is not going well. Growth is important. Same for the church.

However, at some point organisms are no longer expected to grow (size-wise). Beyond that point, any growth the organism experiences is usually unhealthy growth. As a twenty-nine year old, my doctor gets concerned when I do grow. He measures my waistline and looks for tumors or other abnormal unhealthy growth.

I wonder if we shouldn't talk about "church maturity" instead of "church growth." Organisms never stop maturing even after the stop growing. Growth is a part of maturity but not the goal or focus of maturity. It's more of a byproduct.

I also wonder if thinking about the church this way might not allow us to focus on growth for a season as a temporary part of the maturity process while a church is young, before beginning to think about other facets of maturity such as development and reproduction - topics that often get lost in the growth focus.

The Source

Henri Nouwen says about loneliness, " you must try to find the source of this feeling. You are inclined either to run away from your loneliness or to dwell in it. When you run away from it, your loneliness does not really diminish; you simply force it out of your mind temporarily. When you start dwelling in it, your feelings only become stronger, and you slip into depression. The spiritual task is not to escape your loneliness, not to let yourself drown in it, but to find its source."

Nouwen's personal struggle seems to be loneliness and depression but my experience is that his observation is true of ever emotion. Anger, fear, joy, anxiety, and everything else we can feel has a source as well as a ditch on both sides.

The problem with Nouwen's advice is that he stops short. The believer should go to the source of emotion but shouldn't stop there. We have to go to the source of our loneliness, anger, fear, or other emotion, and examine both the source and the emotion in light of the cross.

Anger, for example, is often rooted in our surprise at the sinfulness of others. When we examine it in light of the cross, we're reminded of the seriousness of sin in God's eyes and the satisfactory payment of Christ on that person's behalf, as well as our own sinfulness and need for a Savior. At that point, anger dissipates and worship emerges.

When we take emotion and its source to the cross, we're driven to worship every time.

Disorientation

Last week was a pretty rough week for me. Part of it was the emotional hangover that always follows a huge event. Part was a couple of difficult counseling appointments and leadership challenges that all hit at the same time. The details aren't important but for most of last week I felt disoriented.

Times of disorientation are present in the story of every leader I've ever met. They're scary, confusing, and can be dangerous; if the leader gets disoriented he can't set the pace or the direction. Prolonged periods of disorientation can have a long-term negative impact on the organization. Most of the time, disorientation is not that serious.

When I was learning to fly, a part of my instruction was learning how to deal with spatial disorientation that can come from flying in clouds or at night when you can't see the horizon or distinguish the sky from the grounds. During those periods, pilots are taught to only trust their instruments. Trusting your emotions, your feelings, or your perceptions can get you killed. When you're disoriented, you have to trust what you know to be true and ignore everything else until you can fly out of the clouds and reorient yourself.

It's the same in organizational leadership.

When I face times of disorientation like I did last week, I have to remember that God is in control and that He is good. I have to remember the core of what He has called me to do and that He has provided everything I need to do just that through the Cross (2 Peter 1:3). Those are my instruments. I trust those and keep moving forward, despite what I feel, as I wait for things to clear up.

Understanding the Old Testament

Next Spring I'll be teaching an Old Testament Survey class at the church. I'm looking forward to it, mostly because I love a challenge and am like most people: I don't know the Old Testament nearly as well as I know the New Testament.

But here's some food for thought: I don't believe you can understand the New Testament fully until you begin to understand the Old Testament. Although there are clear distinctions between the two with regard to how God is working (in the Old Testament through a nation, in the New Testament through a Body), the New Testament doesn't start from scratch. Sometimes I think we put too much discontinuity between the Old and New Testaments. Just a casual read shows you that the New Testament writers drew heavily from the Old Testament as they wrote their letters. You can't understand the New Testament fully until you begin to understand the Old Testament.

But, according to Jesus in John 5:39 and Luke 24:27, you don't fully understand the Old Testament until you understand what it says about Jesus. You can't fully understand the Old Testament until you see how it points to what the New Testament reveals.

Bible study is a spiral. You have to know what the Old Testament says so you can understand how the New Testament clarifies what the Old Testament reveals.

Forgiveness

Our small group lesson last week was on the topic of forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of those topics that everyone agrees we should do (Ephesians 4:32), though it's rare that any of us actually agrees on what forgiveness means.

Biblically speaking, Jesus' parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35 gives a good perspective on how Jesus looked at forgiveness. Here are a couple of things to notice:

1. Forgiveness does not mean pretending a wrong never occurred. Both the king and the servant knew there was a legitimate debt owed that the servant was unable to pay (18:24). We don't have to pretend like a wrong never took place in order to forgive.

2. There are often just consequences in the absence of forgiveness. The king would have been absolutely just to require the servant to be sold to repay a legitimate debt (18:25). Forgiveness doesn't indicate that a person is unworthy of punishment. To the contrary, forgiveness means that the person who sinned against us deserves to be punished for what they did. Otherwise, there is nothing to forgive.

3. Jesus defines forgiveness as "cancelling the debt" (18:27). The king erased the debt the servant owed him. Be careful with 18:26-27. When we demand someone apologize before we forgive, we erase our chance to erase the debt. If someone "owes us an apology," and they apologize, they have paid their debt and it cannot be erased any longer. The king didn't forgive the debt because the servant made things right emotionally. He forgave the debt because he chose to do so.

4. Our forgiveness of others should be in direct proportion to the amount we have been forgiven. We should be the first to forgive others who sin against us only up to the point that their sin against us is equal to our own infinite sin against an infinite God. Beyond that, we aren't obligated to forgive.

5. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When the king's servants heard of the forgiven servant's harsh treatment of another debtor (18:28-30), the king did not need to be reminded about their earlier encounter (18:31-32). Forgiveness means cancelling the debt. It doesn't mean you have to loan to the same person again.

Two Faces of Missional

The word "missional" has been a fad word in evangelical Christian circles for long enough that it doesn't mean anything any more. In fact, now that everyone is using the word "missional," everyone talkin' 'bout missional ain't going there.

Today, as best I can tell, you've got two different uses of the word "missional."

The word originated with churches who had a philosophy of ministry that centered on the sending of Christians into the world. Those churches aren't concerned with attracting a crowd so much as they are interested in sending people into the crowd. They want their people to live "on mission" throughout the week, hence the term "missional."

Now that the word has become a fad, another group is emerging. They've co-opted the word "missional" as well as some of the ideas of missional churches without buying the overall philosophy. They send their people to live "missional" lives with the intent of attracting people to their church.

Lots of churches in that second group are doing some good ministry. God is using them. But, I think they're missing a great opportunity.

The end goal of the missional life isn't someone being attracted to your specific church; it's someone being attracted to Jesus. And while Christ Himself is the great initiator in that process (John 6:44), He is gracious to us to use our lives in that process (2 Corinthians 5:11).

If you are more excited about attracting people to your church than you are about attracting others to Jesus, you've got either too high a view of your church or too low a view of Jesus.

2012 The Bible and the End of the World - A Review

If you've visited Barnes and Noble recently, you may have noticed the ever-growing 2012 display and wondered what the heck was going on. If you spend much time watching the History Channel, you already know.

2012 is the new Y2K; a great chance for basement dwellers everywhere to don their tin foil hats, brush up on their HAM radio skills, and collect a lifetime supply of SPAM and other surviving-the-end-of-the-world staples. With an opportunity like that, you know Hollywood is cashing in. 2012 the movie is coming out next month.

The Mayan people were a mysterious people who lived as long as 2000 years ago in Central America. They were fascinated with the stars and obsessed with keeping time to the point that they kept and observed more than 20 different kinds of calendars. The Mayan Long Count Calendar, one of the main ones, stops keeping time on December 21, 2012.

The reason for the date is that on December 21, 2012, the sun will block the center of the Milky Way, interrupting energy flow from the center of the galaxy to the earth... something that happens only once every 26,000 years. We're not sure what happened the last time this happened, but one thing is for sure: newspaper clippings from that date didn't survive. We've looked.

Add to the Mayan prediction some supposed predictions from Nostradamus, an occult "prophet" from the 16th century who mastered in giving vague fortune-cookie-like predictions, and you've got the makings of an opportunity for every wannabe scientist to get his 15 minutes of fame.

Mark Hitchcock is an evangelical Christian pastor in Edmond, Oklahoma who is fairly fluent in end-of-the-world language. He's written quite a few books about the end of the world from a biblical perspective, and is a scholar (and person) for whom I have a great deal of respect. His book "2012 The Bible and the End of the World" is a very good primer on the Mayan calendar, the Nostradamus prophesies, supposed Bible Codes, and the mystery around 12/21/12.

Whether you're vaguely curious about 2012 or someone who is really passionate about researching this kind of thing, this book is a really great place to start. Hitchcock's work is good scholarship, but doesn't feel like scholarly reading, and his footnotes will point the serious student in the right direction of several other resources to check out.

Hitchcock's conclusion? Who knows what might happen when energy is blocked from the center of the milky way to the earth. But, the Bible's flawless prophetic track record can be trusted above Nostradamus' sketchy guesses and the Mayans' inconclusive suggestions. And if the Bible is right, we've got at least 7 years from today until Armageddon and 1007 years from today until the world is destroyed.

So, continue to watch and wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of Jesus Christ (Titus 2:13), and begin investing in the tin-foil hat business... you'll have some money for Christmas presents on December 23, 2012.

I Do Not Think it Means What You Think it Means - Part 4

This one is a little bit tougher.

James 2:17 comes up a lot with misbehaving Christians. Actually, it's usually quoted in hypothetical situations, but rarely does someone have the guts to apply it the same way to a specific situation involving themselves or someone they know. Here's what I mean:

We hear about hypocritical Christians misbehaving fairly often. They smoke, drink, chew and run with girls who do. And we're quick to quote James 2:17 in their situation. "Well, I've got to question whether or not they're really a believer. You know, James says "faith without works is dead..."

But when someone calls us on our gossip, or our bad attitude, or our choice of language when the Dallas Cowboys false start on the goal line... again... James 2:17 couldn't be further from our mind.

And, it's just as well. Because I think it's pretty dangerous to apply James' words about faith without works to a person's eternal salvation. If James is saying that a person's faith, without works before, during or after salvation is not enough for them to be assured of heaven, we've got a huge problem because Paul says the opposite.

James isn't saying that if you don't have good works you are going to miss heaven. He has made it clear up to that point in his book that he assumes the people he's writing to are going to heaven (James 2:1).

If you look at that whole chapter, James is reminding Christian people that their works are important; not so they can be confident of heaven, but so that others can see their faith. James is writing about the importance of being a good reflection of Jesus. And he challenges his readers: You show me your faith while being a deadbeat, and I'll show you my faith by what I do... let's see whose life is the most compelling testimony of Christ to the world.

Christians should absolutely have good works in their lives; not so they can prove to other Christians that they're going to heaven, but so that they can prove to the rest of the world that because of what Christ has done our eyes are on a different and better kingdom (James 2:5) with a different and better Law (James 2:12).

As a pastor, I've seen a few dead bodies in my life. And frankly, I think dead bodies are pretty weird. Why? Because those bodies are not supposed to be like that. They weren't created to look pretty in a casket. They were created to walk, talk, hug, love, smile, eat, and enjoy life. Death is a consequence of sin - not what we were created to do.

As a believer, we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works (Ephesians 2:10) so that God can show the riches of His grace to the world (Ephesians 2:7). When Christians don't live lives of good works, they're like bodies lying in a casket - not doing what they were created to do. In that way, faith without works is dead. That's James' point.

It doesn't mean that you aren't going to heaven... just means when it comes to showing your faith (2:18) you're as worthless as a body lying in a casket.

I Do Not Think it Means What You Think it Means - Part 3

I'm a big fan of asking God to give me direction, especially when I'm facing a difficult decision. But a lot of times when I'm sitting in my office talking to people about decisions they have made (or are about to make), they tell me they're confident in their decisions because "God gave them a peace about it." Then they quote Colossians 3:15, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts..." to back things up.

The problem is: I've prayed and had a peace about some really stupid decisions in my life. And, as a pastor I've heard about some really boneheaded decisions followed by, "but God just really gave me a peace about it."

Yeah, leaving my wife to reconnect with my high-school girlfriend and quitting my job to pursue a career in acting seemed like a bad idea at first... but I have such a peace about it...

I don't think Colossians 3:15 means what you think it means.

If you back up two verses, you see that Paul is telling the Colossians to "bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another..." He goes on to say "put on love, which binds [all virtue] together in perfect unity."

This is a passage about how to fight fair, not a passage about how to make decisions.

The Greek word for letting the peace of Christ "rule" in your hearts is a word that means "referee." Paul is saying that when we fight, we should let the peace of Christ serve as our referee. What is the peace of Christ? The same writer says elsewhere that "having been justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 5:1), even when we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).

Colossians 3:15 is reminding us that we should do as much to pursue peace with others as Christ did to pursue our peace with God, even when we don't deserve it. It doesn't have anything to do with decision making unless we're deciding whether or not to fight fair.

I Do Not Think it Means What You Think it Means - Part 2

One of the passages you hear most often when it is time for corporate prayer is found in Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." In fact, as a teenager, this was one of my favorite ways to start a prayer.

Lord, we know that where two or more are gathered, you hear the things we pray...

No wonder I wasn't motivated to have a quiet time by myself!

I love corporate prayer. I love the fact that I'm a part of a church who prays together a lot. But it isn't because I believe God hears us better if there are two or more of us. I do not think it means what you think it means...

Matthew 18:20 can't be separated Matthew 18:15-19 which tells us what to do when a person sins against you - not church-wide prayer gatherings. If your brother sins against you and won't make things right after you go to him individually, you should take "two or three witnesses" (Matthew 18:16) as unbiased observers according to the Old Testament Law in Deuteronomy 19:15. If your brother will not make things right in the presence of two or three unbiased witnesses, he should be put out of fellowship in hopes that he will realize his wrong and repent (Matthew 18:17).

As a result, what you have in Matthew 18:20 is a warning to unrepentant brothers more than a comfort for prayer gatherings. Jesus reminds unrepentant brothers that two or more unbiased witnesses represent Him; they're gathered in His name. If they agree that the brother needs to repent, God is on their side.

Corporate prayer is vital for our growth, fellowship, and discipline together as a church, but it isn't because God is mystically more present when we have a quorum. God hears and answers our private prayers (Matthew 6:6) as well as our corporate prayers (Matthew 6:9) in a powerful, personal way. One is not more significant than the other.

I Do Not Think it Means What You Think it Means - Part 1

This week I want to do something a little different. I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way.

One of the most quotable movies in all history has to be "The Princess Bride." In that movie, there's a funny exchange between Inigo Montoya and Vizzini, after Vizzini continues using the word "inconceivable." Inigo Montoya looks at him and says, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

There are a couple of passages of Scripture that I hear quoted all the time. But when you start looking at them, I'm not sure they mean what we use them to mean. I'd like to take a stab at a few of them this week.

The first one is Revelation 3:20. This verse is a favorite invitation verse for summer camp and Vacation Bible School speakers because it paints such a compelling picture. We imagine that the door is the imaginary door to our heart (I've always pictured the left ventricle, myself). Jesus is standing in the cold and rain, unable to enter our heart because of our sin. He stands there knocking (at this point it's helpful to knock three times on the pulpit, just for effect). If only we would ask Jesus into our heart, He could come in out of the cold.

Now, please understand. A person could hear that kind of invitation and understand that God loves them, sent His Son to die on the cross for their sin and gives eternal life by faith. I did. But that was because the Holy Spirit was speaking louder than the preacher, and I don't think the end justifies the means.

In Revelation 3:20, Jesus is talking to a church. He's not knocking on the door of a heart; He's knocking on the door of a church requesting fellowship with them.

Also, if the people in Laodicea He was writing to were unbelievers, it would be the only one of the "churches" in Revelation who were not believers; and the only "church" of unbelievers in Scripture. If you believed a person could lose his salvation, you might be able to make the argument that these people were once believers but now aren't, so Jesus is knocking at the door of their heart so that they would be saved. But that interpretation doesn't square with the rest of Scripture.

Revelation 3:20 makes an appealing invitation verse, but sometimes I want to go forward during the invitation and say "I do not think it means what you think it means." Jesus isn't knocking so little boys and girls will ask Him into their heart and not go to hell. He's asking boys and girls and moms and dads who have already trusted Him for eternal life to - as a church - repent and rejoin fellowship with Jesus.

Revelation 3:20 is an invitation, but not for eternal life. It is an invitation for churches to not get so distracted by other things that they leave Jesus standing outside.

The Unforgiving Minute - Book Review`

The Unforgiving Minute, by Craig Mullaney was a recommendation by Al Mohler several months ago as good summer reading. So, I gave it to my father-in-law for his birthday in hopes that I could steal it from him during a visit.

Before we left on vacation a couple of weeks ago, he suggested I take the book, which kept me from having to sear my conscience to steal the book. Maybe he had seen me plotting my getaway.

"The Unforgiving Minute" describes Craig Mullaney's life beginning with an education at West Point and in Army Ranger school, through Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, to the battlefield as a platoon leader in Afghanistan.

Mullaney is a brilliant writer, deep thinker, and great story teller. He has an uncanny ability to help the writer grow as a leader alongside him as he writes about his life-education on several different fronts. From debating philosophy in a pub near Oxford University to the private dealings of a young adult man who watched as his father abandoned his family, Mullaney is able to take the reader inside his head to struggle alongside him. Only a few years removed from the combat zone in Afghanistan, Mullaney is able to see events and circumstances with an astounding amount of clarity.

Mullaney has a much different worldview from mine and some of that shows up throughout the book. He has lived through vastly different experiences than I have. Yet throughout the book, I couldn't help feel a common bond with him.

I had a hard time putting this book down. Something about it compelled me to keep reading, as if putting the book down would let Mullaney and his men down. I wanted to find resolution. It came, but not completely. In many ways, Mullaney's story won't be fully resolved either. He doesn't lead you to believe that it has been.

In the interest of full disclosure: if your ears are prone to bleeding in the presence of foul language, you might want to skip this book. Mullaney describes the battlefield and the language of soldiers pretty graphically. Otherwise, this book gets a strong recommendation from me.

Polarized

I recently heard Timothy Keller make the argument that people today are rapidly congealing into two camps when it comes to religion: Those radically engaged and those radically opposed.

For much of the 20th century, the vast majority of people who followed a religion of some kind were moderate followers. They went to worship, adhered to the basic tenets of their faith, and went about their business. If Keller is right, and I think he may very well be, the 21st century will see that group of people almost completely replaced by a group of people whose religion absolutely permeates their life and a group of people who are radically opposed to religion altogether.

The Muslim world seems to be ahead of the game in this shift. It is becoming increasingly impossible for secular Muslims to exist. They're being forced to either embrace the complete package of their belief system or leave it altogether.

We're certainly seeing a rise in people who are radically opposed to religion altogether. Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Daniel Dennett are radically opposed to religion altogether and would love to have others join their group.

Meanwhile, Christians will be forced to either put up or shut up; to get serious about their faith or abandon it altogether. And although that sounds scary, I think it could be one of the best things to happen to evangelical Christianity.

The Price of a Salute

One of the books I started when I returned from vacation is "The Unforgiving Minute" by Craig Mullaney. It chronicles his education from West Point through Army Ranger School, to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, to the streets of Afghanistan during battle. Mullaney is an extraordinary writer with a fascinating story. This is a great book, though some of the soldier language he employs would make it hard for me to recommend the book to my mom.

Early in the book, Mullaney recalls a conversation with a history professor, Lieutenant Colonel Guy LoFaro who had served as an Army Ranger in Grenada, and disarmed an assassin who opened fire on soldiers at Fort Bragg. Mullaney asked LoFaro "How do you know how you'll handle combat?"

LoFaro responded, "You don't... What you do know is that it will be chaotic and loud... You'll be more scared of letting down your men than anything the enemy's gonna do to you. And then you'll lead from instinct and judgment. That's the price of a salute."

If you're in a leadership position, others salute you, whether physically or literally. They defer to your leadership, look to you for marching orders, and entrust the health of their careers and sometimes their very lives to your hand.

Leadership brings responsibility. It's costly but if you want people to trust you, you have to be willing to lead in the hard stuff. You have to be able to be trusted in battle. That's the price of leadership; the price of a salute.

What will you do this week that is worth your team's loyalty?

Vacation Mini Book Reviews

We had a great vacation. We relaxed and ate so well, we probably wouldn't have come back if we hadn't run out of money.

Before I went, I asked for fiction recommendations. I went to Half Price Books the day before I left, and bought several of your recommendations. Here are some brief reviews:

Inside the Revolution by Joel C. Rosenberg - Okay, so technically this one isn't fiction. But, I read it at my in laws' house and in the airport before we left. I'm glad I did. It's a really great book tracing 3 major movements within Islam in the middle east: Radicals, Reformers, and Revivalists. We hear a lot about the radicals, and rightly so - Rosenberg describes their theology of how the world will end, and how many world leaders (especially the leader of Iran) are radicals who are set out to bring the end. The Reformers are peaceful Muslims who represent the majority, albeit a silent majority. The Revivalists are the millions of Muslims who are trusting Christ across the middle-east. If you are at all interested in what is going on in the Middle East, Rosenberg (who has served in the White House, and is well-connected throughout Washington as well as being a Bible student) writes a really good book.

Divine Justice by David Baldacci - This was the first novel I read on the trip. Baldacci is (apparently) known for suspense novels. This one was pretty fast-paced and an easy read. Basically, a former spy is on the run after two major political players are assassinated. As he seeks a hiding spot, he ends up in the wrong town and races against the clock to stay hidden and solve a series of mysterious deaths in a small coal mining town. Oh yeah, and there's a love story too. This was a good book, though fairly predictable.

Runaway Jury by John Grisham - Several people recommended this one, and it was the second one I read. Everyone who walked by on the beach commented about how much they liked the book, so I guess everyone had read it except me. My review will be short: really liked the book. I like a good twist at the end, and although I had this one figured out before it happened, I wasn't disappointed. I like Grisham's ability to pay attention to detail without bogging the reader down. The book moved just quickly enough for me. Good read.

The Sigma Protocol by Robert Ludlum - This was my least favorite of the books I read, though it wasn't awful. I read it toward the end of our trip, and wanted to finish it before we got home so I may have rushed through it. It's not a good book to rush through. A guy gets shot at by a former friend while on business in Europe. As he tries to piece things together on the run, he realizes that he is near uncovering a deep, dark secret leftover from Nazi Germany. He runs from country to country trying to stay a step ahead of assassins while trying to uncover the truth despite the fact that it could destroy his family. Oh yeah, and there's a love story. The book was good, though it seemed every person had two or three aliases and spoke in different languages while they jumped around to several different locations. That made the characters and storylines almost impossible to follow. The book came together at the very end, though I thought the end was weird. The language in this one was particularly rough too. Someday when I finish all the other books in my queue, I might pick this one up and give it another shot because I think it has potential. Nah... I'll just wait for the movie.

I read one other book at my parents' house when we got back. It's non-fiction - the story of a West Point soldier who goes to Afghanistan. I'll post more about it in the future, because I'm not quite done with it. I'm loving it though and will want to recommend it to you.

On Vacation

I am here:

Be back October 19.

Money Money Money Money

This morning I was reading in Acts 16:16-24, the account of Paul and Silas in Philippi. They come across a girl - actually, she seems to find them - who was possessed by a demon that allowed her to predict the future. She was owned by another guy, who exploited her demonic possession for the purpose of earning a little extra spending money.

This voodoo girl begins following Paul and Silas throughout the countryside, saying correct information but making their ministry into a freak show. So, Paul casts the demon out of the girl.

He frees her from the demon, doing her a pretty big favor. The slave-owner wasn't impressed. A great miracle happened right in front of his eyes, but he was so worried about his money disappearing alongside the demon that he couldn't notice what was going on right in front of him.

Instead of being overjoyed that his servant was restored to her right mind, the slave-owner could only focus on his own situation. As a result, he had Paul and Silas flogged, stripped naked, and thrown in a maximum security prison cell.

Perhaps just a bit of an overreaction.

Throughout his ministry Paul confronted a lot of different idols, but none was personally dangerous to him as the idol of money. When he talked about the Unknown God on Mars Hill (Acts 17:16-34), some sneered. But when he confronted the idol of materialism, he normally found himself at death's door (see also Acts 19, especially verse 24).

Some things never change.

Fake Brakes and the Gospel

When I get to heaven, I'm going to ask God why He coded the "fake brake" reflex in the foot of every woman. My mom has it, my wife has it, and my friends report that their wives and mothers have the same trait.

You know the "fake brake." While driving, you approach an intersection (or another car) at a rate of speed that is uncomfortable for the female in your car, at which point they simultaneously reach across to restrain you, put their other hand on the dash to brace themselves, and stomp on the fake brake that they believe has magically appeared on the passenger's side of the car.

As if their arms and a non-existent brake are going to be enough to restrain either of us from flying forward in the event of a crash.

Kari assures me that she trusts me as a driver. The fake brake is just a reflex. She just wants to be sure... just in case.

I talk to a lot of people whose reflex is trying to fake brake their way into eternity.

"Think you'll go to heaven when you die?"

"Sure."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Well, I trusted Jesus as my Savior when I was six... and after all, I go to church every Sunday, read my Bible, give to the poor, listen to Christian radio, teach Sunday School, and put a Jesus fish on my bumper."

If I had a quarter for every time I'd heard that explanation...

It's not that people have a hard time trusting Jesus. It's that we have a hard time trusting Jesus alone.

We fake brake it... Just in case.

As if our filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) are going to be enough to carry us over the line if Jesus fails...

Here's the problem: it's awfully hard (read: "impossible) to trust Jesus and trust ourselves at the same time. Either Jesus is our Savior, or Jesus us helping us be our own savior. It can't be both.

If the real brake fails, the fake brake ain't going to be of much help. So trust Christ alone, and enjoy the ride. Do all those other things because you get to, not because you feel like you're helping Jesus drive.

Fiction Vacation

I don't read fiction.

I don't have anything against fiction, or people who do read fiction. But for most of my life I have regarded fiction as a gigantic waste of time. I read a ton, but not just for the joy of reading. I read for the joy of learning. If I want fiction, I watch MSNBC.

Just kidding.

I'm leaving for vacation on Friday. I'll be gone for about week. We're going to a location where my cell phone and email will not work. If someone wants to get a hold of me (other than Kari), they'll need to get on an airplane. I love my job and the people at our church, but I'm going to a place where they can't find me.

And, I need a couple of books to read while I'm laying on the beach. But, I'm not allowing myself to take any non-fiction books along. If I read non-fiction, I'll think about how to apply it at work, and I'd like to not think about work so I can be fully refreshed when I return.

Here's my request: You get one (1) fiction book recommendation. If it isn't one of the "Left Behind" books, "The Da Vinci Code," "The Shack," a Nicholas Sparks book, "The Giver," or "Elmo Wants to Play," I haven't read it. Which single book of fiction would you recommend?

Keep in mind, I'm reading for entertainment on the beach... not to be beat over the head. Don't come at me with Dostoevsky or something that's going to make me read with a dictionary. I don't want to carry a dictionary to the beach. They're heavy.

So... I need your help. What's one fiction book I can't miss? Comment away.

The Crucifixion of Ministry - Book Review

The Crucifixion of Ministry by Andrew Purves is a book that helps those involved in full-time Christian ministry give "their ministries" back to Christ.

I bought this book because a friend of mine was reading it and I loved the title. I ended up liking the book too.

Purves makes two big points throughout the book: (1) The ministry we lead isn't ours. It never was ours. It never will be ours. And, when we begin to think of it as ours, it usually goes about as far as we're able to take a supernatural ministry in our very natural power: nowhere... over and over again. If you pastor "your church" or "your para-church ministry," or for that matter "your Sunday School class," you really ought to kill it.

(2) Christ is at work in the world, and we get to share in what He is doing. But, He will do it in His power, with His resources, in His way. It isn't our job to make Jesus relevant, or catchy, or funny, or angry. Jesus is alive... He can impress people however He likes. Our responsibility is to present Him as Scripture says, help people interpret Scripture, and lead the church in types of worship that point people back to Jesus (communion, baptism, etc...).

Purves is much more reformed than I, so there were a few places that I disagreed with the theology behind his advice. He talks a lot about Jesus "believing" for us, which I think is an over-reach of some reformed theology, but it didn't distract from Purves' main point.

Lots of books will help you be a good pastor from the man-side. They'll help you do your job better from the standpoint of the congregation, your elders, and in your own eyes. But if you're a pastor looking for a good theology of pastoral ministry from the God-side, Purves' book is a pretty good place to start.

Character Defense

Ever notice that it's impossible to defend yourself against a character accusation?

If someone accuses you of being an angry person, you can't defend yourself against it. Anecdotal evidence will always win the day. You say you're not an angry person, but one person saw you get angry on the soccer field one time when you were eight, and in their mind that proves their case.

"Character" speaks about a pattern of behavior over a long period of time. It is the person I am when pressure is applied; the person I am when nobody is looking. And if nobody is looking, nobody else knows what my true character is. They're reliant on anecdotal evidence that is impossible to prove or defend against.

I think that's what Paul is going for in 1 Corinthians 4:2-5.

Today, it's impossible to defend yourself against a character accusation. Some day, we'll stand defenseless when our character is revealed. False negative accusations today are better than true negative accusations on that Day.

So rather than focusing on what everyone else is saying, it's better to focus on what God will say. By and large, when that is our focus, the other takes care of itself.

Comfort Zone

When my alarm went off at 5:15 this morning, I almost cried. This would have been a great morning to sleep in. The weather is getting cooler, I was in the middle of a deep sleep, great dream that didn't make any sense, in a cold room under warm sheets, with the sprinkler system hitting the window like rain, and a slow trickle of drool running down my cheek.

I was in the zone.

It's hard to leave the zone when you're that comfortable.

It's always hard to leave the comfort zone. I mean, why would you leave if you're comfortable?

Yet I noticed something the other day: The vast majority of significant leaders throughout the Bible weren't primarily used by God until He took them out of their comfort zone.

God called Abraham out of his homeland (Genesis 12), Jacob had to leave home (Genesis 27:41), Moses' mom took Moses out of the comfort zone (Exodus 2:1-7), and then he got to flee again later (Exodus 2:15) only to go back (Exodus 3:10), and leave again (Exodus 12). Joseph's brothers "helped" Joseph leave the zone (Genesis 37:28). It was true of Daniel (Daniel 1:1-6), Jonah (Jonah 1:2), Jeremiah (Jeremiah 2:2), and the disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). It's true of us too.

When we're out of our comfort zone, we're dependent on God. We're keyed in on what He's doing because we have to be. We do what He calls us to because we're already uncomfortable so we might as well. And we find that most often, it is on the ragged edge of life that God is working most powerfully - not in the places where we're comfortable.

As nice, warm, peaceful, and restful as my bed is, it's hard to make a difference in there. I've got to face the cold hard world because that's where God is at work and I want to be a part of it.

What comfort zone is preventing you from being used to the full extent of what God wants to do through you?

Seeds

If you're a parent who doesn't know about Seeds Music, I'm about to make you very happy.

I remember road trips in the Freeland Mini Van. We traveled all over the country when I was young (I've been to 48 of 50 states because of those road trips). Mom had her pillow. Dad was driving. Blake had his Game Boy, and I had my Walkman.

I don't know why I had a Walkman and headphones - everyone was going to hear my music anyway. I had a tendency to rock "Wee Sing Bible Songs" at the top of my lungs.

For eight hours.

Both ways.

Seeds is the next generation of Wee Sing Bible Songs, except that the songs aren't cheesy, there are no songs about an "arky, arky," and parents won't want to scratch their eardrums out after listening to the songs with their kids.

Seeds songs are straight-up Bible verses set to music. It's a tremendous Bible memorization tool for your kid and for you. And the music isn't just tolerable - the songs are well-written and catchy, even for parents.

You should be able to find these at your local bookstore for around 12 bucks per CD. Actually, the CDs come in two CD packs so you can listen to one and pass one on to a friend who could benefit from the "seed" of God's word being planted in their child's life. It's not a bad marketing strategy either.

If you've got kids, you really should look in to these CDs unless you're a relative with kids who normally gets a Christmas present from Kari and I. In that case, forget I said anything. We've got the "Seeds of Purpose" CD playing in Kari's car right now, and love it.

How to Lose in Hard Conversations

I'm not the best in difficult conversations. I constantly fight the desire to be a people-pleaser and a tendency to give too much, skirt around hard issues, worry too much about feelings, and not just come out and say what needs to be said... especially when it's the hard thing. I guess that's why they call them "hard conversations."

But I have learned one sure fire way to lose in hard conversations, whether you're dealing with a car dealer or confronting a sin issue. The easiest possible way to lose big in hard conversations is to get angry.

It's my understanding that boxers are trained this way too. Despite the fact that boxers win points by beating the fire out of each other, they're trained to keep their emotions under control because the first boxer to lose his cool inevitably loses the match.

If your anger gets out of control you can't think clearly, process information as accurately, or respond appropriately. When that's the case, you are physically unable to accomplish the goals of the conversation.

When I am headed into a conversation I know will be difficult, I always put my goals for the conversation on paper before I go into the discussion. I also think about the things that could distract from those goals. That forces me to stay focused in a conversation, to keep my emotions in check, and to remember what I'm trying to accomplish. It also helps me anticipate outcomes.

When I can't anticipate the conversation ahead of time I try to always remind myself to slow down, listen carefully, and pay special attention to my emotions so they don't ever get out of control.

The first person to get angry loses the conversation. Keep it in check.

The Gospel-Centered Life

Several months ago, one of my friends ran across a new small-group study called "The Gospel- Centered Life." It is a nine-week study published by a missions organization named “World Harvest Mission” and written by a couple of pastors, Bob Thune and Will Walker.

This study is great stuff.

The primary idea of the study (as you might expect from the title) is that the Gospel is central to the Christian life.

I grew up in a church that emphasized the gospel on the front-end of the Christian life, but it was only a few years ago that I began to think about how the gospel is essential to the rest of my life as a Christian.

Most of us teeter between legalism and license for the entirety of our Christian life. Legalism says "my behavior defines my identity." License says "my identity shouldn't impact my behavior." Whichever side of the struggle you tend towards, this study reminds us that our focus should be the cross.

For the legalist, the cross is a reminder that God's standard of holiness is too high for our meager attempts at rule-keeping. God is satisfied in the work of His Son; not in our behavior. For the person who struggle with licentiousness, the cross is a reminder of the severity of sin against a holy God. The sacrifice Christ paid was far too severe, and the gifts we have received are far too extravagant for us to disregard what He has done on our behalf.

The problem is, as "The Gospel Centered Life" points out, we have a tendency to "shrink the cross." As we justify our sin as "not that bad," or judge our neighbors as "not as good as us," we betray the fact that the cross is a smaller deal to us than it should be.

If you're a part of a small group, or know the small group pastor at your church, you really ought to check out this study. Right now, you can download a free preview copy of it, which is a bigger bargain than you know.

At the risk of over-selling, this is some of the best material I've ever run across for small groups. It's profound and simple, precise, clear, and provoking. You really should check it out.

B-O-L-O-G-N-A

One of the young adult girls here at McKinney is hoping to head to Bologna, Italy with Campus Crusade for Christ for a year-long short-term mission. Economic situations have caused her support to come in a little low and she needs some other people to join her support team by this Friday for her to be able to go.

Italy is a surprisingly dark place, spiritually speaking. Bologna is even more spiritually dark than the rest of the country. The University of Bologna was founded in 1088 - the oldest university in the Western Hemisphere. A year ago when Kari and I were in Bologna on a mission, our two missionary friends who are currently serving there were not aware of a single evangelical Christian on that campus of 100,000 students.

If you've got a heart for what God is doing in Italy and would like to make an investment that will pay dividends for eternity, you can join Kari and I in supporting Crystal online. If you'd like to read more about her decision to go to Bologna, she has a blog as well. She has until Friday to reach her support goals, so check it out.

The Things You Want the Most

John Ortberg quotes James Dodson's book "Final Rounds" about the final months of his father's life. Dodson (the son) was highly engaged in his business and had little time left over for his marriage, kids, or anything else. The dying father spoke some profound words to his son that are worth repeating again:

"The danger of great ambition is that you'll work so hard, you may someday wake up and find that the things you really wanted were the things you had all along."

It's coded into the DNA of a man to be significant, to be needed, and to be successful. Unfortunately, it's also coded into our sin nature to try to miss all those things when they're right in front of our faces.

How many of the things we're pursuing are the things God has already given us?

Profundity

One of my weaknesses as a preacher is the desire to say something profound in every single message.

Sometimes that's one of my best traits good. It pushes me to study and think deeply, and to prepare diligently. It's a self-imposed goal that helps motivate me.

But sometimes the desire to be profound can be a trap.

We aren't always called to say anything profound. Sometimes we're just called to deliver the same message people have heard, again. And when we start grasping for the profound we can either end up saying something in error just because it sounds good, or missing an opportunity to repeat simple truths in order to anchor those truths in the listener's ear.

It's the same for those who are not preachers. In conversations with friends, family members, or neighbors, we can feel a desire to give profound answers to simple questions just so they know we've done our homework. Instead, we can point people back to the cross time after time by giving thoughtful and simple, but not profound responses.

Facebook and Email could Kill my Ministry

Ever noticed that the more important the things are you're working on, the more frequently the distractions come?

Most of the distractions in my life are self-imposed, but they're distractions nonetheless.

When I've got something important going on - an imposing critical conversation, or a sermon, or an important meeting to prepare for - my phone rings more often, my inbox fills up more quickly, and facebook statuses are more interesting.

In Romans 8:13 Paul reminds us to "mortify the sin in our body." Recently, I'm learning the discipline of mortifying the distractions in my office.

When it comes time to do something important, I have to close down the inbox. I forbid myself from looking at facebook. I turn my cell phone on silent, and my office phone on "do not disturb." Facebook, cell phones, email, and blogs are amazing tools for connecting with people. But they can also cripple my ability to connect effectively over the long term with anyone.

Those things all have their place, but I have to stay disciplined to keep them there. Otherwise, they'll overtake my life like kudzu.

I have to mortify distractions. Otherwise, they'll suck me dry and kill my ministry.

Freedom and Boundaries - Book Review

I read "Freedom and Boundaries" by Kevin DeYoung several months ago, and am just now getting around to reviewing it.

I've said a couple of times that Kevin DeYoung is one of my favorite authors right now. His book on the Emerging Church was fantastic. His book on knowing the will of God was great as well. DeYoung has an ability to write about tough topics in a really easy manner. He's appropriately funny and appropriately serious, which are hard traits to have in balance.

Because the topic of women in ministry is such a powder-keg topic, DeYoung writes much more technically in "Freedom and Boundaries" than in some of his other books. But, the book is still written in such a way that us "less-than-technical" minds can grasp it.

DeYoung does, in my opinion, a masterful job handling a really difficult issue. The Bible gives two or three black-and-white instructions about gender roles in church leadership; enough that we can't dismiss them without making a statement about how we interpret Scripture, but few enough that we don't have instruction on every single possible scenario that could come up. That's what makes this issue so difficult.

DeYoung is a complementarian who believes that men and women were created to serve complementary but distinct roles in the family and in the church. Women can't ever be daddies, and men can't be mommies, but both men and women are vitally important in the family relationship. In the church, DeYoung believes, there should be a similar affirmation of value and distinction of roles.

"Freedom and Boundaries" examines each of the Scripture passages that talk about gender roles, and helps us understand where the Bible draws hard and fast lines, and where we have freedom to choose. Too often, Christians read "I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority" and either dismiss it or make sweeping declarations that aren't warranted by the passage. DeYoung does a good job at finding a healthy balance. He works hard to speak where the Bible speaks, but to not go a step farther than that, and I really respect that about his work.

The issue of gender roles in ministry can be a really difficult issue because it hasn't been handled carefully in the past. It's hard to be a complementarian sometimes, because a bunch of domineering idiots have so abused it to the point that we want to throw everything out with the bath water. There is a way where you can honor the value and gifting of every person, male or female, while recognizing that God has created us for different roles. DeYoung does a great job striking that balance.

This is a great book. It won't be of interest to people who don't want to think pretty hard about a difficult issue. But, if you're interested in doing some thinking about the role of women in the Church and want to see an example of how it is possible to hold women in the highest regard while maintaining a distinction in roles that the Bible sure seems to require, this is a great book to pick up.

Prosperity and Adversity

I'm not a big fan of adversity. I like things to be easy, comfortable, and smooth. Adversity keeps me awake at night. It consumes my thoughts and drives me crazy.

It also drives me to my knees.

When I'm thinking clearly, I fear prosperity a lot more than I fear adversity because adversity forces me to realize that I am completely inadequate to do what I'm called to do on my own.

Adversity reminds me of reality.

Prosperity breeds complacency. When things are going well, it's too easy to sit back and enjoy it - to think we deserve it. Prosperity is dangerous, because it makes me forget about God.

That's what Moses told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 8. For forty years they faced adversity, and it turned their hearts toward God. But as they stood at the gates of the Promised Land, about to experience prosperity they could only imagine, God warned them about what could lie ahead: "You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me" (Deuteronomy 8:17).

I'd prefer prosperity, but I need a little adversity sometimes... just to remind me of reality - that prosperity comes from God.

Loneliness

I really resonated with Mark Driscoll's blog entry yesterday about the loneliness of leadership. To me, the scariest part of being at the top of an organizational chart is not the fact that a bunch of people are under you - it's the fact that there is often nobody beside you.

Even in a collaborative environment, there will always be one primary point leader. Every team has a primary person they look to when everything else fails. And when everything else fails (the only time the primary leader really has to use his authority) he is all alone.

Loneliness can cause a leader to do stupid things. We make foolish decisions that are not in the best interest of the organization because we're afraid we'll lose the few friends we have. We're terribly vulnerable to inappropriate and unhealthy relationships because we're desperate to find someone who truly understands. And, we cope with loneliness (as Driscoll points out) by committing sin - often in an attempt to prove to others that we're just like them, as if they did not already know.

This is the precise reason why the higher the leader goes publicly, the deeper he or she must go spiritually. If you are blazing a trail, it is absolutely imperative to find strength in the only One who is already at work ahead of you (John 5:17).

You Were Born For This - Review

I just finished my pre-release copy of Bruce Wilkinson's new book "You Were Born For This." When the publisher asked me if I'd be interested in reviewing it, I jumped on it. Wilkinson has written a couple of books I really liked. In fact, if I made a list of the twenty most influential books on my life, "Seven Laws of the Learner" would be one of them. So, I was excited to get my hands on this book.

The main idea of Wilkinson's new book is that God wants to use each of us as our life intersects with the lives of others in ways that we could never imagine. Our responsibility is to just be alert and available to what God is doing in lives and situations all around us.

I love the main theme of the book. So few of us are intentionally available to the hundreds of opportunities that pass us by every day because we see them as small. Yet every opportunity we miss to be available to be used by God in the life of another person is a huge opportunity. Wilkinson's book seeks to change our perspective of the opportunities around us, and I'm thankful for that.

However (you could sense that coming, couldn't you?), aside from the main theme of the book, this book was hard for me. I feel like in Dr. Wilkinson's attempt to clarify God's desire to work in our lives, he muddies some other things. Three primary things:

1. Wilkinson adopts a new definition of the word "miracle." Much of this book is based on the idea that we get to "partner with God in doing miracles" in the lives of others. I think what Wilkinson is trying to do is show how powerful it is when God works through your life in the life of another. However, I think his language is confusing and has a byproduct of making the concept of miracles less powerful. In the Bible, when someone does a "miracle," God reverses a natural process (sickness, death, weather, drought, or famine). And, the point of miracles, at least as Scripture seems to use the concept, is that they don't happen all the time. Wilkinson redefines the concept of "miracle," which I found confusing and misleading. It is amazing when God uses you to be an agent of His working in the life of another person, but the Bible would not call that a "miracle."

2. Wilkinson's writing style has changed considerably in the last several years, and it's hard for me to get past the fact that he tends to be the hero in most of his stories. Even though he talks a lot about transferring credit for a "miracle" to God, the truth is, it's hard to picture myself actually doing what Wilkinson does because a disproportionate number of the illustrations involve examples by "the guy who wrote the book" on the subject.

3. There's a real emphasis on listening to "nudges" by the Holy Spirit as far as discerning when to push into peoples' lives to do a "miracle," but no explanation on how to discern between a Holy Spirit nudge and the effect of a chili dog. I absolutely believe that God can lead us by nudging us, but there are a lot of people who live their lives in "God-told-me-to-do-this" mode when it's quite obvious to everyone else around that God didn't tell them to do any such thing. We have to balance our gut with Truth to ensure what we're "hearing" is from God, and not from something masquerading as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14-15; 1 John 4:1).

4. It takes Dr. Wilkinson until page 200 to say anything specific about the Gospel, and even then he mentions it in a parenthesis. In the early part of his book, when he talks about the "Master Key" to doing miracles, he fails to mention that it is impossible to partner with God apart from a relationship that comes through faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. I feel like that's a huge missed opportunity, because there is a strong possibility after the success of Jabez there could be thousands of people who read the book who don't understand the first key to joining with what God is doing is understanding what He has already done.

All in all, I have a hard time recommending this book to many people. I love the main theme, and what I think are Dr. Wilkinson's good intentions. I just feel like the book is more confusing than helpful in some critical areas.

Good Work

I don't usually use my blog for stuff like this except for the occasional gripe about the Apple Store, but think this is worth posting.

This Friday and Saturday, about 250 women from McKinney Church are headed to Waco, TX for a conference there called "Just Give me Jesus."

This morning, they got a call from the Fairfield Inn in Waco saying that a good deal of the rooms the group had reserved at the hotel were flooded last night (two days before the event) and were unusable. So, the Fairfield Inn had taken it on themselves to reserve a block of rooms at another hotel across the street where our entire group (not just those who were displaced) could stay together.

The Fairfield Inn hooked us up with their competitor, took care of the arrangements, and did much more than they were obligated to do before we ever found out about the problem. This could have been a disaster for us, and a disaster for them. Instead, our group won't miss a beat and the Fairfield Inn in Waco has won about 250 customers for life.

If you own a business or offer a service and take the time to care about your customers, they will become better than any other advertisement strategy you could ever dream up.

Going to Waco, TX for something in the future? Check out the Fairfield Inn, and tell them "thanks" for us.

Communicating Great Things

I read a really great quote the other day by Ronald Reagan. His ability to speak in way that was witty, clever, wise, and often extremely timely earned him the nickname "The Great Communicator." From calling the bluffs of Air Traffic Controllers' Unions to challenging a world leader to tear down a wall that stood for power and oppression, Reagan seemed to have a knack for saying just the right thing and just the right time. But he himself was amazed by his nickname. Look at what he said:

"In all of that time I won the nickname "The Great Communicator." But I never thought it was my style or the words I used that made a difference. It was the content. I wasn't a great communicator, but I communicated great things."

You and I might argue that Reagan did have a certain style about him but even still, he might have a point. And if he does, there is no reason you and I should be anything other than great communicators as well. We know the One who has the "words of eternal life" (John 6:68).

We don't have to talk particularly well, or have a sense of timing and style that great communicators have. But when we take the opportunity to speak Truth into a situation, God has a way of using that. We don't have to be great communicators; we just have to be faithful to communicate great things.

Good Idea or Biblical Mandate?

I'm looking forward to teaching the last week of Bible Study Methods with a group of men in the morning. I'm responsible for teaching "application."

Application is the most important step of studying the Scripture, but you can't do application until you do everything else. It is a lot like putting the roof on a house; the roof is vital, but you can't put it on until the structure is in place.

When you apply Scripture without doing the spade work of figuring out how the first person who ever read God's words would have understood it, and what we have in common with them, you end up with applications that don't really have anything to do with the passage. That's really dangerous, because we end up confused between the things that are good ideas and the things that are biblical commands.

Good ideas are wise things that I should do. Biblical commands are good things that everyone must do.

The two are often connected, but should never be confused.

When you have application before you do the hard work studying a passage, the best-case-scenario is that you become a legalist... even if you have a good idea.

Discipline

I recently had a conversation with a person who was struggling through all kinds of junk. As she told me her story, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry; it seemed like Murphy had come to live at her house, and everything she touched fell apart.

At some point in the conversation, she made the comment. "I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong."

She felt like God was disciplining her for something, but said she couldn't figure out what in the world it was.

During difficult times, it's pretty easy to default to that kind of thinking. Job's "friends" did it (Job 5:17). The disciples did it (John 9:1-2). I've done it too. But as those people all found out, God can have many purposes for allowing suffering; discipline is not always the reason for bad things in our life. And, I'm convinced that people who are under God's discipline know why they're under God's discipline.

While it's true God does discipline His children (Hebrews 12:5-6), Scripture is equally clear that He does so as a loving Father. I would never discipline my child without him knowing why I was disciplining him. I received a lot of discipline in my childhood days. While I may not have felt as though the discipline was fair or deserved at the time (it generally was), I was never in doubt as to why I was being disciplined.

Jonah knew why he was being disciplined by God (Jonah 1:9-10). Ananias knew why he was disciplined by God (Acts 5:1-5). The Corinthians were clear about why they were suffering (11:29-30). When you are disciplined, my experience is that you will have no doubt as to why you are being disciplined. God's a loving Father, not a cosmic sadist who loves to make you hurt without revealing to you the purpose.

If you're experiencing discipline and know the reason, repent and learn your lesson like a smart child would. If you're suffering for some other reason, trust in the God who is close to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18) and find your refuge and protection in Him (Psalm 5:11-12), but don't fear that God is whipping you without telling you why; He is a much more loving Father than that.

Heaven

I'm doing a big funeral this Friday for a guy who went to our church and passed away on Saturday morning after a long battle with cancer.

Death always makes us think harder about eternity. And for the Christian, thinking about eternity should make us long for heaven.

What do you think about when you think about heaven? Most of the time when we talk about heaven, we talk about the streets of gold, the place Jesus is preparing for us, the loved ones we'll see there, or the fact that we'll all have hair and be able to hit a golf ball straight.

Here's a question to ponder today: If everything you believe about heaven was true, but Jesus was not there, would it still be heaven to you?

When Paul thought about dying, he didn't seem to get most excited about the end of persecution, the healing that would come to his body, or the fact that he would see his long lost buddies (though all those things are true). Paul seemed to get most excited about being present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8).

The greatest thing about my friend Dave's life at this moment isn't the healing that he has experienced. Those are great things, but they aren't the best things. The best thing about where he is, is that he's with Jesus, the author and perfecter of his faith (Hebrews 12:2).

Front or Back Porch?

We were driving back home last night after dinner in the home of some friends, and I began to notice a trend.

The road home goes behind several neighborhoods where you see just the backs of a lot of homes. We had gorgeous weather last night, and we were driving home after dark. Probably 2/3rds of the homes we passed had back porches, and a good majority of those back porches were lit up; people were outside enjoying the evening.

Then we turned down our street and I realized how dark the street seemed. Those who had front porches weren't sitting out there - they were on their back porch, if they were outside at all.

I've lamented before that Kari and I don't have a front porch. Our next house will.

But last night, it struck me how many of our churches have followed the culture. Our culture is full of back porch churches: comfortable and welcoming, but built primarily for the comfort and privacy/protection of the people who occupy the house.

People who sit on front porches aren't primarily concerned with being protected from the people "out there." I'd rather be a part of a front porch church. The front porch is still built primarily for the people who live in the house, but with a different focus. Rather than privacy, the front porch allows accessibility. The front porch allows them to be seen and approachable. It gives a context for conversation, and an easy location for inviting others to be a part of the family.

Only I Can Do That...

Want to brag on my boss for a second. I don't think he even knows I blog, so don't even think of accusing me of being a brown noser... he'll never read it.

Ken's been a great mentor for me in a lot of areas, but perhaps most importantly in the area of the pastoral ministry/family relationship. Ken and Kathy have a great marriage, and raised two young adult children who both love Christ and would tell you they are thankful to have been raised as pastors children. You don't find preachers' kids who would say that every day.

Ken gave his daughter Anna away on Saturday. His brother Ron did the ceremony.

Last week, someone asked Ken why he wasn't doing the wedding ceremony. I love his response. He said, "Because I'll be busy sitting next to my wife, holding her hand. Anyone could do the wedding ceremony, but I'm the only person who can sit next to my wife and hold her hand."

A lot of times rather than prioritizing based on what we can't do, we would do well to spend time asking ourselves, "What are the things only I can do?"

The Finger of God?

I don't know if you heard about the tornado that hit Minneapolis last week during the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America's (ELCA) convention, but commentary is starting to make its way around the blogosphere and I wanted to pitch in my 2 cents (you may want change).

Briefly: One of the items on the agenda for the ELCA to discuss was whether or not "practicing homosexuality was a behavior that should disqualify a person from pastoral ministry." On the day that item was going to be discussed, an un-forecasted tornado struck the church where the meeting was taking place. Now... three things:

1. I respect the fire out of John Piper. His response to N.T. Wright titled "The Future of Justification" was a masterpiece example of taking a stand against something with a careful blend of scholarship and the spirit of a pastor's heart. His other books are terrific as well. So, when I realized Piper had blogged about the tornado, it really grabbed my attention.

2. I believe the Scripture plainly says that homosexual behavior is a sin against God and that men and women who blatantly choose to take part in and justify any kind of clearly sinful behavior are unqualified for ministry leadership (1 Timothy 3:2; 3:8; 3:11). If they are believers God's discipline is certain (Hebrews 12:6), and if they remain unbelievers God's judgment is assured (Romans 1:18-32).

But...

3. We must be extremely, extremely careful before stating with certainty that a specific event is God's judgment on specific people for a specific sin. The tornado damaged other buildings as well, and tornadoes happen with some regularity all over the country, even if not in Minneapolis. I think we walk a dangerous line when we are quick to draw a connection between natural events which are a reminder that we live in a fallen world, and God's specific purpose for any of those events.

God may have had many purposes for the tornado that touched down in Minneapolis. One of those may well have been a warning shot to the ELCA - God certainly isn't happy about the direction they're taking - but we cannot assert that judgement was God's main purpose with certainty.

Remember the blind man in John 9:1-3? The disciples were convinced that his blindness was judgment from God. The connection was too obvious for them. But Jesus corrected them, and proceeded to show them a different purpose.

The ELCA should certainly examine their hearts and plans to ensure they are in line with God's. We should certainly speak out against the direction they are headed. But I think it's a bit presumptuous to declare God's purpose in a natural event without a clear word from God. Otherwise, we put ourselves on the same road as Pat Robertson who declared that Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment on New Orleans, and Jeremiah Wright who declared that 9-11 is what America deserved for its past sins.

We must speak the Truth where the Bible speaks it, and be careful when we draw connections between "this" and "that" which aren't explicit.

Hard Conversations

Most people don't feel like they're very good in hard conversations. I'm certainly in that camp. Hard conversations are hard because they usually deal with sensitive subjects at inopportune times. There isn't ever a good time to tell someone they're fired, or that they need to deal with a sin issue.

Other times, the opportunities for hard conversations blind-side us when we are not prepared. It would be hard to count how many times I've skipped an easy opportunity to share the Gospel with someone because the opportunity came when I wasn't expecting it and didn't feel prepared.

Hard conversations are hard but think back about the people in your life who have made the greatest impact. They are the people who were willing to have the conversations with you that challenged you, confronted you, or inspired you, weren't they? As uncomfortable as those conversations were for you and for them, because they were willing to say the hard stuff in a loving way you perceived that they cared for you.

We instinctively understand that when people speak hard Truth in a loving way, they put the relationship and their reputation on the line because they care for us that much.

The equal and opposite truth is this: When you speak only what people want to hear, you will ultimately not be heard. People understand when you really don't care enough about them to put yourself at risk, and they won't trust you. Hard conversations are essential.

I'm still not great at hard conversations, but I've taken to asking myself a question that is helping me make progress. In every conversation, regardless of the circumstances, I'm trying to ask myself: "If I really cared about this person, how would this conversation be different."

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You'll be amazed how many conversations are transformed on that question alone.

Investing Advice

I wasted last evening trying to switch over our personal finance software. I've had it on my computer for a while, but that's just not workable when Kari needs to see where we're at on our budget, so I'm switching things over to her computer. But, for several years we've used Microsoft Money which isn't being made anymore so we're switching. I spent the whole evening trying to switch only to figure out once I got everything set up that the new software wouldn't work for what we need it to. Nothing more frustrating than wasting a whole evening on something that doesn't work out (Maybe I should have listened to Jaye).

Being wise in keeping up with our finances is pretty important to Kari and I because, quite frankly, I'm on a career track where I am never going to make so much money I'll be able to afford to be unwise. I expect to live until I'm 70 or 80 and would like to have things I can enjoy in my old age, so every financial decision I make today matters.

This morning as I was studying 1 John 5:13 with a buddy of mine, I was reminded of a different timetable for my investments. John wrote so that his readers would "know that they have eternal life."

See, we don't just expect to live until we're 70 or 80; those of us who have trusted in Jesus Christ can expect to live forever.

I'd like to have some things to enjoy a billion years from now even more than I'd like to be able to play golf every day when I'm 80. That should re-focus the way I invest not only my money, but every resource God has entrusted to me. And just like my finances, those resources are limited. Every decision matters.