Straw People and Life-Givers

Monday and Tuesday I mentioned straw people - the people in life and ministry that suck everything out of you just like a straw.

What's funny is, when you read the above sentence, someones picture came to your mind. It doesn't take us very long to identify the straw people in our lives.

Straw people take on a lot of different shapes and sizes just like soft-drink straws - different amounts of suckage. But you know who they are. And if you're not careful, they will destroy your life. They'll suck the life out of you, cause you to become bitter, and cause you to slowly change into an arrogant punk who consistently avoids people who need you.

How do you deal with the straw people in your life and ministry?

Number one, I think you have to set good boundaries for them (and for yourself). You have to help them understand when some of their behaviors are inappropriate, because most of them don't realize that on their own.

For example, a couple of months ago one of my favorite straw people got a hold of my cell phone number, and began calling me 4 or 5 times a day, every day. Even better was the fact that he would call from several different phones, and I couldn't ever screen his number. Ultimately I had to have a difficult conversation with him in which I told him my cell phone number was primarily for my wife and family to use, and that he shouldn't call me on it anymore. He's getting better, but sometimes he "forgets," and I have to help him respect the boundaries by reminding him as soon as I hear his voice that "this is not an appropriate way to contact me. You need to call me at the office." Boundary conversations are some of the hardest conversations for me to have - I feel like I'm being a jerk - but if you don't have blunt, clear, loving conversations with straw people, they'll keep sucking until they suck you dry.

Second, you have to counterbalance straw people with life-givers. Just as there are people in your life who suck the life out of you, there need to be people in your life whose presence in your life gives you energy. The funny thing is, for some reason these people are more difficult to immediately identify. But you have to get some time with these people on a regular basis to pour into you what the straw people are sucking out.

If I look at my calendar for the week on Monday, and don't see any appointments with the life-giving people in my world, I schedule one. Because if I don't schedule intentional time with the life-givers, those gaps will be filled with the straw people.

I'm thankful for the several guys in my life who are consistent life-givers - I'm having lunch with one of them today. And it will be one of the more important appointments in my week this week, because I've spent a lot of other time with people who suck.