How to Lose in Hard Conversations

I'm not the best in difficult conversations. I constantly fight the desire to be a people-pleaser and a tendency to give too much, skirt around hard issues, worry too much about feelings, and not just come out and say what needs to be said... especially when it's the hard thing. I guess that's why they call them "hard conversations."

But I have learned one sure fire way to lose in hard conversations, whether you're dealing with a car dealer or confronting a sin issue. The easiest possible way to lose big in hard conversations is to get angry.

It's my understanding that boxers are trained this way too. Despite the fact that boxers win points by beating the fire out of each other, they're trained to keep their emotions under control because the first boxer to lose his cool inevitably loses the match.

If your anger gets out of control you can't think clearly, process information as accurately, or respond appropriately. When that's the case, you are physically unable to accomplish the goals of the conversation.

When I am headed into a conversation I know will be difficult, I always put my goals for the conversation on paper before I go into the discussion. I also think about the things that could distract from those goals. That forces me to stay focused in a conversation, to keep my emotions in check, and to remember what I'm trying to accomplish. It also helps me anticipate outcomes.

When I can't anticipate the conversation ahead of time I try to always remind myself to slow down, listen carefully, and pay special attention to my emotions so they don't ever get out of control.

The first person to get angry loses the conversation. Keep it in check.

The Gospel-Centered Life

Several months ago, one of my friends ran across a new small-group study called "The Gospel- Centered Life." It is a nine-week study published by a missions organization named “World Harvest Mission” and written by a couple of pastors, Bob Thune and Will Walker.

This study is great stuff.

The primary idea of the study (as you might expect from the title) is that the Gospel is central to the Christian life.

I grew up in a church that emphasized the gospel on the front-end of the Christian life, but it was only a few years ago that I began to think about how the gospel is essential to the rest of my life as a Christian.

Most of us teeter between legalism and license for the entirety of our Christian life. Legalism says "my behavior defines my identity." License says "my identity shouldn't impact my behavior." Whichever side of the struggle you tend towards, this study reminds us that our focus should be the cross.

For the legalist, the cross is a reminder that God's standard of holiness is too high for our meager attempts at rule-keeping. God is satisfied in the work of His Son; not in our behavior. For the person who struggle with licentiousness, the cross is a reminder of the severity of sin against a holy God. The sacrifice Christ paid was far too severe, and the gifts we have received are far too extravagant for us to disregard what He has done on our behalf.

The problem is, as "The Gospel Centered Life" points out, we have a tendency to "shrink the cross." As we justify our sin as "not that bad," or judge our neighbors as "not as good as us," we betray the fact that the cross is a smaller deal to us than it should be.

If you're a part of a small group, or know the small group pastor at your church, you really ought to check out this study. Right now, you can download a free preview copy of it, which is a bigger bargain than you know.

At the risk of over-selling, this is some of the best material I've ever run across for small groups. It's profound and simple, precise, clear, and provoking. You really should check it out.

B-O-L-O-G-N-A

One of the young adult girls here at McKinney is hoping to head to Bologna, Italy with Campus Crusade for Christ for a year-long short-term mission. Economic situations have caused her support to come in a little low and she needs some other people to join her support team by this Friday for her to be able to go.

Italy is a surprisingly dark place, spiritually speaking. Bologna is even more spiritually dark than the rest of the country. The University of Bologna was founded in 1088 - the oldest university in the Western Hemisphere. A year ago when Kari and I were in Bologna on a mission, our two missionary friends who are currently serving there were not aware of a single evangelical Christian on that campus of 100,000 students.

If you've got a heart for what God is doing in Italy and would like to make an investment that will pay dividends for eternity, you can join Kari and I in supporting Crystal online. If you'd like to read more about her decision to go to Bologna, she has a blog as well. She has until Friday to reach her support goals, so check it out.

The Things You Want the Most

John Ortberg quotes James Dodson's book "Final Rounds" about the final months of his father's life. Dodson (the son) was highly engaged in his business and had little time left over for his marriage, kids, or anything else. The dying father spoke some profound words to his son that are worth repeating again:

"The danger of great ambition is that you'll work so hard, you may someday wake up and find that the things you really wanted were the things you had all along."

It's coded into the DNA of a man to be significant, to be needed, and to be successful. Unfortunately, it's also coded into our sin nature to try to miss all those things when they're right in front of our faces.

How many of the things we're pursuing are the things God has already given us?

Profundity

One of my weaknesses as a preacher is the desire to say something profound in every single message.

Sometimes that's one of my best traits good. It pushes me to study and think deeply, and to prepare diligently. It's a self-imposed goal that helps motivate me.

But sometimes the desire to be profound can be a trap.

We aren't always called to say anything profound. Sometimes we're just called to deliver the same message people have heard, again. And when we start grasping for the profound we can either end up saying something in error just because it sounds good, or missing an opportunity to repeat simple truths in order to anchor those truths in the listener's ear.

It's the same for those who are not preachers. In conversations with friends, family members, or neighbors, we can feel a desire to give profound answers to simple questions just so they know we've done our homework. Instead, we can point people back to the cross time after time by giving thoughtful and simple, but not profound responses.

Facebook and Email could Kill my Ministry

Ever noticed that the more important the things are you're working on, the more frequently the distractions come?

Most of the distractions in my life are self-imposed, but they're distractions nonetheless.

When I've got something important going on - an imposing critical conversation, or a sermon, or an important meeting to prepare for - my phone rings more often, my inbox fills up more quickly, and facebook statuses are more interesting.

In Romans 8:13 Paul reminds us to "mortify the sin in our body." Recently, I'm learning the discipline of mortifying the distractions in my office.

When it comes time to do something important, I have to close down the inbox. I forbid myself from looking at facebook. I turn my cell phone on silent, and my office phone on "do not disturb." Facebook, cell phones, email, and blogs are amazing tools for connecting with people. But they can also cripple my ability to connect effectively over the long term with anyone.

Those things all have their place, but I have to stay disciplined to keep them there. Otherwise, they'll overtake my life like kudzu.

I have to mortify distractions. Otherwise, they'll suck me dry and kill my ministry.

Freedom and Boundaries - Book Review

I read "Freedom and Boundaries" by Kevin DeYoung several months ago, and am just now getting around to reviewing it.

I've said a couple of times that Kevin DeYoung is one of my favorite authors right now. His book on the Emerging Church was fantastic. His book on knowing the will of God was great as well. DeYoung has an ability to write about tough topics in a really easy manner. He's appropriately funny and appropriately serious, which are hard traits to have in balance.

Because the topic of women in ministry is such a powder-keg topic, DeYoung writes much more technically in "Freedom and Boundaries" than in some of his other books. But, the book is still written in such a way that us "less-than-technical" minds can grasp it.

DeYoung does, in my opinion, a masterful job handling a really difficult issue. The Bible gives two or three black-and-white instructions about gender roles in church leadership; enough that we can't dismiss them without making a statement about how we interpret Scripture, but few enough that we don't have instruction on every single possible scenario that could come up. That's what makes this issue so difficult.

DeYoung is a complementarian who believes that men and women were created to serve complementary but distinct roles in the family and in the church. Women can't ever be daddies, and men can't be mommies, but both men and women are vitally important in the family relationship. In the church, DeYoung believes, there should be a similar affirmation of value and distinction of roles.

"Freedom and Boundaries" examines each of the Scripture passages that talk about gender roles, and helps us understand where the Bible draws hard and fast lines, and where we have freedom to choose. Too often, Christians read "I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority" and either dismiss it or make sweeping declarations that aren't warranted by the passage. DeYoung does a good job at finding a healthy balance. He works hard to speak where the Bible speaks, but to not go a step farther than that, and I really respect that about his work.

The issue of gender roles in ministry can be a really difficult issue because it hasn't been handled carefully in the past. It's hard to be a complementarian sometimes, because a bunch of domineering idiots have so abused it to the point that we want to throw everything out with the bath water. There is a way where you can honor the value and gifting of every person, male or female, while recognizing that God has created us for different roles. DeYoung does a great job striking that balance.

This is a great book. It won't be of interest to people who don't want to think pretty hard about a difficult issue. But, if you're interested in doing some thinking about the role of women in the Church and want to see an example of how it is possible to hold women in the highest regard while maintaining a distinction in roles that the Bible sure seems to require, this is a great book to pick up.

Prosperity and Adversity

I'm not a big fan of adversity. I like things to be easy, comfortable, and smooth. Adversity keeps me awake at night. It consumes my thoughts and drives me crazy.

It also drives me to my knees.

When I'm thinking clearly, I fear prosperity a lot more than I fear adversity because adversity forces me to realize that I am completely inadequate to do what I'm called to do on my own.

Adversity reminds me of reality.

Prosperity breeds complacency. When things are going well, it's too easy to sit back and enjoy it - to think we deserve it. Prosperity is dangerous, because it makes me forget about God.

That's what Moses told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 8. For forty years they faced adversity, and it turned their hearts toward God. But as they stood at the gates of the Promised Land, about to experience prosperity they could only imagine, God warned them about what could lie ahead: "You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me" (Deuteronomy 8:17).

I'd prefer prosperity, but I need a little adversity sometimes... just to remind me of reality - that prosperity comes from God.

Loneliness

I really resonated with Mark Driscoll's blog entry yesterday about the loneliness of leadership. To me, the scariest part of being at the top of an organizational chart is not the fact that a bunch of people are under you - it's the fact that there is often nobody beside you.

Even in a collaborative environment, there will always be one primary point leader. Every team has a primary person they look to when everything else fails. And when everything else fails (the only time the primary leader really has to use his authority) he is all alone.

Loneliness can cause a leader to do stupid things. We make foolish decisions that are not in the best interest of the organization because we're afraid we'll lose the few friends we have. We're terribly vulnerable to inappropriate and unhealthy relationships because we're desperate to find someone who truly understands. And, we cope with loneliness (as Driscoll points out) by committing sin - often in an attempt to prove to others that we're just like them, as if they did not already know.

This is the precise reason why the higher the leader goes publicly, the deeper he or she must go spiritually. If you are blazing a trail, it is absolutely imperative to find strength in the only One who is already at work ahead of you (John 5:17).

You Were Born For This - Review

I just finished my pre-release copy of Bruce Wilkinson's new book "You Were Born For This." When the publisher asked me if I'd be interested in reviewing it, I jumped on it. Wilkinson has written a couple of books I really liked. In fact, if I made a list of the twenty most influential books on my life, "Seven Laws of the Learner" would be one of them. So, I was excited to get my hands on this book.

The main idea of Wilkinson's new book is that God wants to use each of us as our life intersects with the lives of others in ways that we could never imagine. Our responsibility is to just be alert and available to what God is doing in lives and situations all around us.

I love the main theme of the book. So few of us are intentionally available to the hundreds of opportunities that pass us by every day because we see them as small. Yet every opportunity we miss to be available to be used by God in the life of another person is a huge opportunity. Wilkinson's book seeks to change our perspective of the opportunities around us, and I'm thankful for that.

However (you could sense that coming, couldn't you?), aside from the main theme of the book, this book was hard for me. I feel like in Dr. Wilkinson's attempt to clarify God's desire to work in our lives, he muddies some other things. Three primary things:

1. Wilkinson adopts a new definition of the word "miracle." Much of this book is based on the idea that we get to "partner with God in doing miracles" in the lives of others. I think what Wilkinson is trying to do is show how powerful it is when God works through your life in the life of another. However, I think his language is confusing and has a byproduct of making the concept of miracles less powerful. In the Bible, when someone does a "miracle," God reverses a natural process (sickness, death, weather, drought, or famine). And, the point of miracles, at least as Scripture seems to use the concept, is that they don't happen all the time. Wilkinson redefines the concept of "miracle," which I found confusing and misleading. It is amazing when God uses you to be an agent of His working in the life of another person, but the Bible would not call that a "miracle."

2. Wilkinson's writing style has changed considerably in the last several years, and it's hard for me to get past the fact that he tends to be the hero in most of his stories. Even though he talks a lot about transferring credit for a "miracle" to God, the truth is, it's hard to picture myself actually doing what Wilkinson does because a disproportionate number of the illustrations involve examples by "the guy who wrote the book" on the subject.

3. There's a real emphasis on listening to "nudges" by the Holy Spirit as far as discerning when to push into peoples' lives to do a "miracle," but no explanation on how to discern between a Holy Spirit nudge and the effect of a chili dog. I absolutely believe that God can lead us by nudging us, but there are a lot of people who live their lives in "God-told-me-to-do-this" mode when it's quite obvious to everyone else around that God didn't tell them to do any such thing. We have to balance our gut with Truth to ensure what we're "hearing" is from God, and not from something masquerading as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14-15; 1 John 4:1).

4. It takes Dr. Wilkinson until page 200 to say anything specific about the Gospel, and even then he mentions it in a parenthesis. In the early part of his book, when he talks about the "Master Key" to doing miracles, he fails to mention that it is impossible to partner with God apart from a relationship that comes through faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. I feel like that's a huge missed opportunity, because there is a strong possibility after the success of Jabez there could be thousands of people who read the book who don't understand the first key to joining with what God is doing is understanding what He has already done.

All in all, I have a hard time recommending this book to many people. I love the main theme, and what I think are Dr. Wilkinson's good intentions. I just feel like the book is more confusing than helpful in some critical areas.

Good Work

I don't usually use my blog for stuff like this except for the occasional gripe about the Apple Store, but think this is worth posting.

This Friday and Saturday, about 250 women from McKinney Church are headed to Waco, TX for a conference there called "Just Give me Jesus."

This morning, they got a call from the Fairfield Inn in Waco saying that a good deal of the rooms the group had reserved at the hotel were flooded last night (two days before the event) and were unusable. So, the Fairfield Inn had taken it on themselves to reserve a block of rooms at another hotel across the street where our entire group (not just those who were displaced) could stay together.

The Fairfield Inn hooked us up with their competitor, took care of the arrangements, and did much more than they were obligated to do before we ever found out about the problem. This could have been a disaster for us, and a disaster for them. Instead, our group won't miss a beat and the Fairfield Inn in Waco has won about 250 customers for life.

If you own a business or offer a service and take the time to care about your customers, they will become better than any other advertisement strategy you could ever dream up.

Going to Waco, TX for something in the future? Check out the Fairfield Inn, and tell them "thanks" for us.

Communicating Great Things

I read a really great quote the other day by Ronald Reagan. His ability to speak in way that was witty, clever, wise, and often extremely timely earned him the nickname "The Great Communicator." From calling the bluffs of Air Traffic Controllers' Unions to challenging a world leader to tear down a wall that stood for power and oppression, Reagan seemed to have a knack for saying just the right thing and just the right time. But he himself was amazed by his nickname. Look at what he said:

"In all of that time I won the nickname "The Great Communicator." But I never thought it was my style or the words I used that made a difference. It was the content. I wasn't a great communicator, but I communicated great things."

You and I might argue that Reagan did have a certain style about him but even still, he might have a point. And if he does, there is no reason you and I should be anything other than great communicators as well. We know the One who has the "words of eternal life" (John 6:68).

We don't have to talk particularly well, or have a sense of timing and style that great communicators have. But when we take the opportunity to speak Truth into a situation, God has a way of using that. We don't have to be great communicators; we just have to be faithful to communicate great things.

Good Idea or Biblical Mandate?

I'm looking forward to teaching the last week of Bible Study Methods with a group of men in the morning. I'm responsible for teaching "application."

Application is the most important step of studying the Scripture, but you can't do application until you do everything else. It is a lot like putting the roof on a house; the roof is vital, but you can't put it on until the structure is in place.

When you apply Scripture without doing the spade work of figuring out how the first person who ever read God's words would have understood it, and what we have in common with them, you end up with applications that don't really have anything to do with the passage. That's really dangerous, because we end up confused between the things that are good ideas and the things that are biblical commands.

Good ideas are wise things that I should do. Biblical commands are good things that everyone must do.

The two are often connected, but should never be confused.

When you have application before you do the hard work studying a passage, the best-case-scenario is that you become a legalist... even if you have a good idea.

Discipline

I recently had a conversation with a person who was struggling through all kinds of junk. As she told me her story, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry; it seemed like Murphy had come to live at her house, and everything she touched fell apart.

At some point in the conversation, she made the comment. "I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong."

She felt like God was disciplining her for something, but said she couldn't figure out what in the world it was.

During difficult times, it's pretty easy to default to that kind of thinking. Job's "friends" did it (Job 5:17). The disciples did it (John 9:1-2). I've done it too. But as those people all found out, God can have many purposes for allowing suffering; discipline is not always the reason for bad things in our life. And, I'm convinced that people who are under God's discipline know why they're under God's discipline.

While it's true God does discipline His children (Hebrews 12:5-6), Scripture is equally clear that He does so as a loving Father. I would never discipline my child without him knowing why I was disciplining him. I received a lot of discipline in my childhood days. While I may not have felt as though the discipline was fair or deserved at the time (it generally was), I was never in doubt as to why I was being disciplined.

Jonah knew why he was being disciplined by God (Jonah 1:9-10). Ananias knew why he was disciplined by God (Acts 5:1-5). The Corinthians were clear about why they were suffering (11:29-30). When you are disciplined, my experience is that you will have no doubt as to why you are being disciplined. God's a loving Father, not a cosmic sadist who loves to make you hurt without revealing to you the purpose.

If you're experiencing discipline and know the reason, repent and learn your lesson like a smart child would. If you're suffering for some other reason, trust in the God who is close to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18) and find your refuge and protection in Him (Psalm 5:11-12), but don't fear that God is whipping you without telling you why; He is a much more loving Father than that.

Heaven

I'm doing a big funeral this Friday for a guy who went to our church and passed away on Saturday morning after a long battle with cancer.

Death always makes us think harder about eternity. And for the Christian, thinking about eternity should make us long for heaven.

What do you think about when you think about heaven? Most of the time when we talk about heaven, we talk about the streets of gold, the place Jesus is preparing for us, the loved ones we'll see there, or the fact that we'll all have hair and be able to hit a golf ball straight.

Here's a question to ponder today: If everything you believe about heaven was true, but Jesus was not there, would it still be heaven to you?

When Paul thought about dying, he didn't seem to get most excited about the end of persecution, the healing that would come to his body, or the fact that he would see his long lost buddies (though all those things are true). Paul seemed to get most excited about being present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8).

The greatest thing about my friend Dave's life at this moment isn't the healing that he has experienced. Those are great things, but they aren't the best things. The best thing about where he is, is that he's with Jesus, the author and perfecter of his faith (Hebrews 12:2).

Front or Back Porch?

We were driving back home last night after dinner in the home of some friends, and I began to notice a trend.

The road home goes behind several neighborhoods where you see just the backs of a lot of homes. We had gorgeous weather last night, and we were driving home after dark. Probably 2/3rds of the homes we passed had back porches, and a good majority of those back porches were lit up; people were outside enjoying the evening.

Then we turned down our street and I realized how dark the street seemed. Those who had front porches weren't sitting out there - they were on their back porch, if they were outside at all.

I've lamented before that Kari and I don't have a front porch. Our next house will.

But last night, it struck me how many of our churches have followed the culture. Our culture is full of back porch churches: comfortable and welcoming, but built primarily for the comfort and privacy/protection of the people who occupy the house.

People who sit on front porches aren't primarily concerned with being protected from the people "out there." I'd rather be a part of a front porch church. The front porch is still built primarily for the people who live in the house, but with a different focus. Rather than privacy, the front porch allows accessibility. The front porch allows them to be seen and approachable. It gives a context for conversation, and an easy location for inviting others to be a part of the family.

Only I Can Do That...

Want to brag on my boss for a second. I don't think he even knows I blog, so don't even think of accusing me of being a brown noser... he'll never read it.

Ken's been a great mentor for me in a lot of areas, but perhaps most importantly in the area of the pastoral ministry/family relationship. Ken and Kathy have a great marriage, and raised two young adult children who both love Christ and would tell you they are thankful to have been raised as pastors children. You don't find preachers' kids who would say that every day.

Ken gave his daughter Anna away on Saturday. His brother Ron did the ceremony.

Last week, someone asked Ken why he wasn't doing the wedding ceremony. I love his response. He said, "Because I'll be busy sitting next to my wife, holding her hand. Anyone could do the wedding ceremony, but I'm the only person who can sit next to my wife and hold her hand."

A lot of times rather than prioritizing based on what we can't do, we would do well to spend time asking ourselves, "What are the things only I can do?"

The Finger of God?

I don't know if you heard about the tornado that hit Minneapolis last week during the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America's (ELCA) convention, but commentary is starting to make its way around the blogosphere and I wanted to pitch in my 2 cents (you may want change).

Briefly: One of the items on the agenda for the ELCA to discuss was whether or not "practicing homosexuality was a behavior that should disqualify a person from pastoral ministry." On the day that item was going to be discussed, an un-forecasted tornado struck the church where the meeting was taking place. Now... three things:

1. I respect the fire out of John Piper. His response to N.T. Wright titled "The Future of Justification" was a masterpiece example of taking a stand against something with a careful blend of scholarship and the spirit of a pastor's heart. His other books are terrific as well. So, when I realized Piper had blogged about the tornado, it really grabbed my attention.

2. I believe the Scripture plainly says that homosexual behavior is a sin against God and that men and women who blatantly choose to take part in and justify any kind of clearly sinful behavior are unqualified for ministry leadership (1 Timothy 3:2; 3:8; 3:11). If they are believers God's discipline is certain (Hebrews 12:6), and if they remain unbelievers God's judgment is assured (Romans 1:18-32).

But...

3. We must be extremely, extremely careful before stating with certainty that a specific event is God's judgment on specific people for a specific sin. The tornado damaged other buildings as well, and tornadoes happen with some regularity all over the country, even if not in Minneapolis. I think we walk a dangerous line when we are quick to draw a connection between natural events which are a reminder that we live in a fallen world, and God's specific purpose for any of those events.

God may have had many purposes for the tornado that touched down in Minneapolis. One of those may well have been a warning shot to the ELCA - God certainly isn't happy about the direction they're taking - but we cannot assert that judgement was God's main purpose with certainty.

Remember the blind man in John 9:1-3? The disciples were convinced that his blindness was judgment from God. The connection was too obvious for them. But Jesus corrected them, and proceeded to show them a different purpose.

The ELCA should certainly examine their hearts and plans to ensure they are in line with God's. We should certainly speak out against the direction they are headed. But I think it's a bit presumptuous to declare God's purpose in a natural event without a clear word from God. Otherwise, we put ourselves on the same road as Pat Robertson who declared that Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment on New Orleans, and Jeremiah Wright who declared that 9-11 is what America deserved for its past sins.

We must speak the Truth where the Bible speaks it, and be careful when we draw connections between "this" and "that" which aren't explicit.

Hard Conversations

Most people don't feel like they're very good in hard conversations. I'm certainly in that camp. Hard conversations are hard because they usually deal with sensitive subjects at inopportune times. There isn't ever a good time to tell someone they're fired, or that they need to deal with a sin issue.

Other times, the opportunities for hard conversations blind-side us when we are not prepared. It would be hard to count how many times I've skipped an easy opportunity to share the Gospel with someone because the opportunity came when I wasn't expecting it and didn't feel prepared.

Hard conversations are hard but think back about the people in your life who have made the greatest impact. They are the people who were willing to have the conversations with you that challenged you, confronted you, or inspired you, weren't they? As uncomfortable as those conversations were for you and for them, because they were willing to say the hard stuff in a loving way you perceived that they cared for you.

We instinctively understand that when people speak hard Truth in a loving way, they put the relationship and their reputation on the line because they care for us that much.

The equal and opposite truth is this: When you speak only what people want to hear, you will ultimately not be heard. People understand when you really don't care enough about them to put yourself at risk, and they won't trust you. Hard conversations are essential.

I'm still not great at hard conversations, but I've taken to asking myself a question that is helping me make progress. In every conversation, regardless of the circumstances, I'm trying to ask myself: "If I really cared about this person, how would this conversation be different."

Publish Post

You'll be amazed how many conversations are transformed on that question alone.

Investing Advice

I wasted last evening trying to switch over our personal finance software. I've had it on my computer for a while, but that's just not workable when Kari needs to see where we're at on our budget, so I'm switching things over to her computer. But, for several years we've used Microsoft Money which isn't being made anymore so we're switching. I spent the whole evening trying to switch only to figure out once I got everything set up that the new software wouldn't work for what we need it to. Nothing more frustrating than wasting a whole evening on something that doesn't work out (Maybe I should have listened to Jaye).

Being wise in keeping up with our finances is pretty important to Kari and I because, quite frankly, I'm on a career track where I am never going to make so much money I'll be able to afford to be unwise. I expect to live until I'm 70 or 80 and would like to have things I can enjoy in my old age, so every financial decision I make today matters.

This morning as I was studying 1 John 5:13 with a buddy of mine, I was reminded of a different timetable for my investments. John wrote so that his readers would "know that they have eternal life."

See, we don't just expect to live until we're 70 or 80; those of us who have trusted in Jesus Christ can expect to live forever.

I'd like to have some things to enjoy a billion years from now even more than I'd like to be able to play golf every day when I'm 80. That should re-focus the way I invest not only my money, but every resource God has entrusted to me. And just like my finances, those resources are limited. Every decision matters.

The Person Standing Alone

There are pluses and minuses for being a part of a larger church. One of the minuses is that it is really hard to spot guests. McKinney is a very friendly church, but every once in a while we have people who slip in and out without being greeted by anyone.

Believe it or not, I have one or two introverted tendencies. One is that I don't really love meeting strangers. I'm usually pretty uncomfortable unless someone introduces them to me who I'm confident can keep the conversation going. Part of it is that my short-term memory stinks and I'm afraid I'm going to re-introduce myself to someone I should know (that happens at least once a Sunday).

For a long time I've talked to the ministries I lead about developing eyes for the person standing alone.

In a healthy church, most people gravitate to their groups of friends. So, when you see a person (or couple) standing by themselves, there is a good chance they're guests trying to scope out the nearest exits just in case the church starts handling snakes. One of my regular Sunday morning prayers is that God would give me eyes to see those people standing alone, and the courage to reach out to them. You should pray that too. Visiting churches is hard work, and people with trained eyes can make it a lot easier.

Negligent Christians?

I've begun noticing a trend in many of the blogs and books I've read recently, as well as in many of the conferences and podcasts I've followed. It's become extremely trendy for evangelicals to bash the modern Evangelical Church when it comes to acts of mercy and social justice. If you listen to many of today's Christian writers, you could easily come to the conclusion that the Church has been completely asleep at the wheel since the 14th century when it led the charge in caring for people during the Bubonic Plague.

It's convenient to bash the Church, and I won't disagree that the Church has not been all it could be in this area. But I'm not sure the situation is nearly as bleak as many people have painted it.

There is a good chance that the largest hospital in your area was started by the Evangelical Church. If homeless people in your area need to be cared and provided for, they likely go to a Christian food bank or shelter. When it comes to relief efforts for famines, hurricanes, tsunamis, and other natural disasters, Christians have historically been some of the first people on the scene.

It's popular to bash the Church as if Christians have been completely negligent for the past seven hundred years. But those kinds of conclusions just don't bear the weight of the facts.

Don't get me wrong: we need to do better. We need to help people see that God cares about the poor, disenfranchised, persecuted and abandoned as we point them toward the ultimate hope found in Christ. It's true that some individual churches have focused on being right more than they've focused on being the Body of Christ. But I reject the notion that the Church has been completely negligent in these areas and think we should be ashamed of ourselves for the exaggeration. What kind of witness is that?

Would You Fire You?

Had a great discussion yesterday with a group of guys about managing money. Here's the question we posed:

If you had a financial planner who treated your finances the way you manage the resources God has entrusted to you, how long would he have a job?

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully [stewarding/managing] God’s grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10)

Church is Full of Hypocrites

I had an interesting conversation with a guy the other day about why he doesn't go to church more regularly. He used the old "the church is full of hypocrites" line, which I'm not always sure how to respond. Do you agree, and try to talk about the importance of grace? Or do you disagree on principle and talk about all the great things the church is doing in the world? Both are probably true. I never know what to say... but this time he threw me a softball I couldn't resist.

Here's how the conversation went:

Him: "I don't really do church... it's full of hypocrites."

Me: "Yeah, sometimes that's the perception. When is the last time you were in church?"

Him: "Christmas... or maybe Easter. We usually go to both of those, you know, for tradition's sake."

Me: "Well, that's the problem. Your only two data points are the Sundays when the church is full of a lot of other people like you."

I think he got the point. He was at church this week.

Moving Target

One of our unwritten (but always present) values at McKinney Church is to do everything we do with excellence. If everything we do as a church staff (or as Christians for that matter) is an exercise of the gifts God has given us, it should be done so that He receives glory (Colossians 3:17). Excellence gives glory to an excellent God.

The main reason the value of excellence is unwritten is that it's impossible to define what "excellence" looks like. Excellence, quality is a moving target; it never stands still.

Excellence is subjective to everyone except God, and thus is measured differently for each of us. I have a different perception of what excellent music sounds like than you do, and we both have a different perspective than someone from another culture. It's a moving target.

The benefit of a moving target is that you have to re-aim every time you get ready to pull the trigger. Since the definition of excellence never stands still, we have to do the same thing. We're forced to constantly evaluate and re-evaluate everything we do to ensure we're doing things that honor God in an excellent way, using the gifts and talents He has given, so that He is honored and glorified.

Your Story

I spent this morning talking with a guy about how to tell the story of what Jesus Christ has done in his life. Every Christian needs to be prepared to give an "elevator version" of how they came into a relationship with Christ in less than 100 words. If you prepare that kind of story and are ready, you'll be shocked at how many opportunities you get to tell it.

(As a matter of fact, as I was typing this blog entry at Panera, I had a random guy sit down next to me and strike up a conversation where he asked me to "tell him a little more about myself...")

The two biggest challenges people face when telling their story is (1) Forgetting what the story is about, and (2) Forgetting the goal of the story.

Most of us tell "our story" and forget that our story is really not a story about us. We emphasize how we were before we came to know Christ, and emphasize our life after Christ, but don't emphasize what Jesus has done in our lives. The most important part of your story is the climax of the story - when you understood that Jesus Christ died for your sins and gave you eternal life as a gift. Make sure you make it absolutely clear that your story is about Jesus and what He did on the cross. It's not a story about you. The gospel has to be clear.

Secondly, without an invitation, your story is just information. After you've made it clear what Christ did in your life, it's important to give people an opportunity to take a step. I usually ask, "Tell me about your spiritual journey." Or "What about you? Has anyone ever given you the opportunity to trust Christ?" Whatever you say, give people an opportunity to take a step that gets them closer to understanding and responding to the Gospel. They won't always respond, but you'll never get to see them respond if you don't give them the opportunity.

So, what's your story? See if you can get it to less than 100 words and post it as a comment. And when you share it this weekend (I guarantee if you look for it, you'll have an opportunity), don't forget to invite people to respond.

The Surprise of Preaching

I got a really nice note yesterday from a person in our church who made some neat life choices as a result of something God did through the sermon on Sunday.

I don't know why, but those kinds of responses always surprise me. I'm not surprised that God blesses the teaching of His Word; He always does that. I'm just amazed at how He arranges it.

My experience is that the sermons I feel the worst about are the sermons He tends to use the most.

For me, sermons are personal long before they're public. I work hard on the front end, always asking the question "How does this connect with my life." Because if I'm not working to live it, I can't preach it. You can't lead to a place you're not willing to go.

As a result, I often walk up on the stage Sunday morning feeling as though I don't have much original to say. Sometimes that's the truth but more often it's just a function of the fact that I've been living with a sermon for long enough it has lost its freshness with me. And because it doesn't feel new to me, I wonder how much what I say is going to connect with people.

What I find is, the sermons that connect the best are the ones I've lived with the longest, although those sermons almost never feel great to me on the Saturday night before I preach.

Praise Publicly, Challenge Privately

I've mentioned before: When it comes to my gift-mix, I tend to be a fairly good leader by nature, but not a good manager. I work well at 30,000 feet, but don't do as well keeping the plates spinning on the ground. But with very few exceptions, a degree of management is involved in all leadership. Even the most visionary CEO usually has to manage a COO who will keep the plates going for him. So, I've done a lot of research on management trying to shore up some of my weaknesses in that area.

One of the most obvious pieces of advice I've received in this area has also been one of the most helpful. I had a conversation with a really great manager not long ago who reiterated the importance of "praising publicly, challenging privately."

The most sure-fire way to lose a person's trust is to talk negatively about them in front of another person. It's true when you're managing businesses, and true when you're managing families. If you have something negative to say about someone, you owe them a conversation, but that conversation should be private. Using someones weakness as a "learning tool" for your team is a great way to make sure the only thing your team learns is that they can't fail in front of you. And if they can't fail in front of you, they can't risk in front of you.

The converse is also true. If you've got something nice to say about someone, make sure you say it to as many people as you can, because nothing motivates better performance like public recognition. Tell everyone that someone is a valued member of the team, and they'll go into battle and die for you as a leader.

Critics

When you're trying to lead change in your organization, you will always have critics.

Most leaders resist critics because they pour cold water on vision and strategy. And half the time, leaders are right to keep critics as far away as possible. The other half the time, keeping critics distant can prove to be fatal.

You have two kinds of critics in your organization. One group of people will never be won over. They're chronic critics who love to poke holes in plans and play the devil's advocate, but will never be persuaded despite a mountain of evidence against them. In most cases, this person has no actual influence because everyone knows his colors. The leader does well to remove him if it's possible, and marginalize him if removal is not possible.

The other kinds of critics are the people who are just not-yet-convinced. They're critical of plans because they haven't been persuaded that a plan of action is the best one. If the leader ignores these critics, it is to his own peril. These people can serve as a great sounding board for leaders because they help the leader shape his plans and communication to be as comprehensive as possible. They also help to point out flaws in logic and blind spots the leader hadn't considered, and nobody else bothered to point out. Their critiques are sincere, and come from the same heart as the leader's: a heart for the health of the organization. Though it can be exhausting for a leader to spend time with these people, if he is wise they will be some of his most trusted advisers.

If you distance yourself from everyone who disagrees with you, you will soon find yourself surrounded by a bunch of people who don't have anything to say to you. You'll be limited to your own wisdom and intellect, and that's a dangerous place to be.

Book Review: He is Not Silent

Albert Mohler is a freak. He is the president of Southern Theological Seminary, husband, father of two children, itinerant preacher, seminary professor, debater, and daily writes thoughtful, scholarly, persuasive entries on his blog.

Oh yeah, and he writes great books too.

I don't know where Dr. Mohler shops for time, but he must find it on sale.

He is Not Silent is Mohler's recent work on "preaching in a postmodern world." In it he defines biblical preaching and argues for expository preaching in a world of story.

However, lest you think this book is some kind of fundamentalist diatribe against everything contemporary, it isn't. Mohler helps the contemporary preacher think about preaching in a culture that continues to move in a postmodern direction.

One of the clearest examples of this is Mohler's chapter on "Preaching the Bible's Big Story." Postmodernism is consumed with the idea of "meta-narrative" - the idea that everything is connected as a piece of a big story. Mohler helps the preacher see this not as something to be afraid of, but as an opportunity to connect people with the meta-narrative of Scripture: the Gospel.

Mohler's book is a great call for preachers to stay focused on the Bible. He discusses the purpose of preaching, the reason for preaching, and the method of preaching. The book also contains a helpful chapter in talking about the uniqueness of the postmodern culture. It's a worthwhile read for anyone who preaches or teaches the Bible.

Many of you who read my blog don't preach. You are not pastors, and don't teach. This book isn't for you, but that's okay. October is Pastor Appreciation Month. Buy the book, wrap it up, and do your pastor a favor.

Book Review: Sticky Church

My buddy Jason, the Pastor of Small Groups at Chase Oaks church recently gave me Sticky Church, by Larry Osborne. If you've been reading my blog for more than a year, you might remember my review of one of Osborne's earlier books "Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God." That book talks about the importance of community within the church because it "Velcros people to truth."

"Sticky Church" develops the Velcro idea even further, proposing the idea that sermon-based small groups help close the back door to churches, further the impact of a sermon, allows more simple equipping of small group leaders, and provides a better context for people to grow as disciples.

Osborne believes (and I agree) that we do people a disservice when the only discipleship models we offer are linear (step one, then step two, then step three). Nobody grows in any other relationship like that. Instead, we learn best when we need to know. I didn't truly learn about God's sovereignty and character until I was in a desperate situation that forced me to examine it. According to Osborne, small groups are best equipped to help connect people to Truth because they connect people to Bible-centered community groups who are strategically placed in each others' lives to be present in need-to-know situations.

Even if you're not a part of a church whose primary discipleship model is small groups (ours isn't), this book can be helpful - especially for pastors. I'm not convinced that sermon-based small groups that function exactly like Osborne's are the silver bullet for discipleship, though I certainly buy most of his arguments. I do think that small communities of people are the most effective way to stimulate each other toward love and good works (Hebrews 10:24).

Whatever system your churches uses for discipleship, it's worth examining Osborne's model. Many of the principles will carry-over even if you decide not to do a system overhaul. Osborne thinks and writes well - "Sticky Church" is an easy and worthwhile read."

Book Review: Crucial Conversations

I heard about the book "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patters, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler from a friend who works in Atlanta. He said it was all the rage in Atlanta right now. I hadn't heard of it, so I'm either ahead of the curve or way behind it. It was published in 2002, so there's a strong chance I'm reviewing a book that was cool seven years ago. Even still...

This book is written to help spouses, roommates, businessmen, parents, and children communicate better in conversations that involve different opinions, high stakes, and high emotion. The principles they point out are helpful whether you're having a conversation with a roommate who leaves his socks on the floor in the living room, or an employee who is under-performing in their role.

This book helps you understand why some conversations go well, and some go poorly. Their advice won't be a surprise to most readers - there's nothing new under the sun. But these authors arrange helpful advice in such a way that is extremely helpful.

"Crucial Conversations" will help you go into difficult conversations with confidence, create environments that are safe for dialogue, deal with strong emotions that come when you're attacked, hurt, or scared during conversations, understand your goal alongside the goal(s) of other parties, in order to ultimately move a conversation toward a decision.

It's no wonder the people in Atlanta are excited about this book; it should make a comeback in Texas as well. If you lack confidence or skill in having difficult, emotionally-charged conversations with people you care about (or don't care about, for that matter), these guys can really help you.

Book Reviews: Organizational Change

I'm digging out of a pile from being in a class the last two weeks, and preparing to preach this Sunday so over the next few days I'm going to blow through some book reviews.

Most of my reading over the past two or three months has been about organizational leadership - the topic of my class. Some of those books have been helpful but aren't probably the kinds of reviews anyone wants to read (or write), so I'll just hit the good books I read in that vein today and move on to some more exciting books (for most of you) tomorrow.

The Leaders Change Handbook - This book, edited by Jay Conger, Gretchen Spreitzer, and Edward Lawler, contains independent chapters from experts in various aspects of organizational change. It deals with everything from leadership structure to organizational spin offs. As with most compilation books, some of the chapters are much better than others, but the book is helpful overall.

Managing Transitions - William Bridges is one of the world's leading experts on managing change. This book is short (125 pages), but immensely helpful. Bridges gives special focus to the reason people resist change, something most books on change do not address. He says people resist change not because of change itself, but because of the personal losses they inevitably experience by change. Leaders who address those losses openly, honestly, and creatively, will find much less resistance to change. Bridges also spends some time talking about leading through the "neutral zone;" the place between the casting of vision and the full implementation of whatever it is the leader is trying to change. "Managing Transitions" is an extremely helpful book.

Change is Like a Slinky - Hans Finzel is the president of World Venture, a Christian mission organization, so this book is written from a biblical perspective. Finzel describes six phases of change, and helps the leader think through successful ways to lead an organization through change. Honestly, the information in this book is great. Finzel is easy to read and offers great wisdom, but the Slinky parallels throughout the book drove me nuts. Read the book, but you've been warned ahead of time.

A Sense of Urgency - John Kotter writes for Harvard Business Press, and is one of the world's other great experts on change. He also wrote "Leading Change" and "Our Iceberg is Melting." "A Sense of Urgency" develops the idea that before change can be successful, the people who are being asked to change must feel the need to change. Kotter points out that the "need" must be experienced - it can't be handed down from a top-level executive. Kotter spends a chapter helping the leader deal with people he calls "NoNos" - the people who are chronically opposed to every sort of change. He also helps the leader differentiate between true urgency and false urgency that ultimately kill the change process.

The Leadership Challenge - James Kouzes and Barry Posner have written a book on Leadership that is possibly the most comprehensive resource for leadership available. If not, it is certainly one of the best selling leadership books of all time. They define 5 practices of great leaders: modeling, inspiring, challenging, enabling, and encouraging. If it is true that leaders are made, not born, Kouzes and Posner have taken a worthy stab at making great leaders. It's impossible to capture this book in a short review, so I won't try. If you're interested in organizational leadership and haven't read this book yet, it should probably be one of the next books you read.

That's Quotable - Vision

"If you don't see it before you see it, you'll never see it."

Mike Buster, Executive Pastor at Prestonwood Baptist Church

Vision, Need, and Teamwork

Vision is something of a buzz word for organizations, and rightly so. Without a clear picture of the future, organizations are destined to tread water instead of swimming toward a purpose.

Vision doesn't make any sense unless it's connected to need. There has to be a reason for the organization to move forward, or nobody will be motivated to take it in that direction.

Great visionary leaders are usually able to talk about how bad things are (need) and how things could be in the future (vision) but are almost always limited by an inability to describe the space in between. It's like a great fog to them.

Great visionary leaders have someone who can think inside the great fog and give it definition, before passing it along to people who can implement it. Otherwise, even great visions are dead in the water.

Kinds of Tired

For several years I've talked about the "Christian "F" Word." You know, when people ask you how you're doing it's always the response: "Fine."

Even when you're not fine, you say "fine," which really means "I heard your question and social constructs obligate me to give a response."

So, I try really hard not to say "fine," when people ask me how I'm doing. I still want to be polite, I just want to be unique.

Recently when people ask me how I'm doing I tell them "tired." I noticed myself doing it yesterday, and spent some time thinking about it while I drank my Chick-Fil-A peach milkshake last night (Lord Jesus, please let there be Chick-Fil-A peach milkshakes in heaven. Amen).

It occurs to me that there are two types of "tired."

The first kind of tired is when you're running in the area of your sweet-spot, using your giftedness to do what God put you on the earth to do. You're stretched, pushed and exhausted, but in a really good way. You're like the Super Bowl MVP who has just enough gas in your tank to finish strong and party hard, but you're running on sheer adrenaline. That's a good kind of tired. Most Sundays after I preach I come home really, really tired, but in a really, really good way.

The other kind of tired happens when you're operating in your own strength, with your own abilities, outside your area of giftedness. You're doing a lot of things that other people could do as well or better if your pride didn't get in the way of you empowering them to do it. This kind of tired makes everything feel forced, like the marathon runner who limps like a zombie across the finish line. Their bodies weren't created for that kind of beating and it takes a long time to recover. When you operate too long in areas outside what God has created you to do, it takes a toll. That's a bad kind of tired. It's okay to be there for a season, but those kinds of activities are not sustainable for long.

How am I? Honestly these days, I find myself vacillating between the two tireds. It's only for a season, but that's where I'm at. You didn't really want that information when you asked though. For fear of overwhelming you with a distinction that only seems important to me, I'll just tell you I'm "tired," and get back to the milkshake. It's really good.

Scary Stewardship

I'm out of my usual morning blog routine this week and last because of a class I'm taking that has me on the road during "normal blogging hours."

This morning during that class we had a neat side conversation about the stewardship of power. I'm interested in what you think.

The idea is this: God has given us four primary things to steward. Those things are (1) money, (2) power, (3) sexuality, and (4) fame.

All four things are a-moral. That is, there is nothing good or bad about any of those four things. They can be used for good or used for bad. All four things are also terrifying to most people.

When we're scared of things, we don't talk about them. And when we don't talk about things we can't "steward" them appropriately. Our failure to put emphasis on the area of money, power, sexuality and fame has caused us as Christians (by and large) to be bad stewards of all four.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Would you add to the list or take away from it? If you agree, how can we be better stewards of those things?

Shopping in Texas

Distance

You want to read a pathetic passage of Scripture?

Matthew 26:58a - "But Peter followed from a distance."

Just hours before, Peter promised he would keep following Jesus no matter what the other guys did; no matter the cost to himself (Matthew 26:35). But when his resolve was tested, he followed from a distance.

I've spent a lot of my life following Jesus, but doing it from a distance. Close enough to Jesus that I'm "technically" following Him, but far enough away that I blend in with everyone else.

Distance following is dangerous because distance puts us on a slippery slope to denial. At the end of verse 58, Peter stops following altogether. By verse 69, he is in active denial.

When the risk seems to high to follow closely, the potential cost will eventually be too great to follow at all. We think we're playing it safe by following at a distance, but the reality isn't safe at all.

Advice For Pastors

I'm currently reading The Curate's Awakening by George MacDonald. It fits nicely into the "Books I Would Never Read Unless Someone Forced me to Read Them" category; It's fiction, the cover is a cheesy pink color with characters who look like victorian seedy romance novel characters, and I don't know anyone who has read it except the person who recommended the book. Fortunately, that person was a professor who required the reading, so I'm reading the book.

MacDonald was a major influence on C.S. Lewis and Francis Shaeffer. In fact, Lewis wrote of MacDonald "I know hardly any other writer who seems to be closer, or more continually close, to the Spirit of Christ Himself!" That's not a bad thing to put on your resume.

I'm only about halfway through this book, but it's tremendous. And early on through one of the characters, MacDonald offers some advice to pastors concerning their research in preparing for a sermon. The question is posed, "Should a pastor make up his sermons from the books he reads?" That is, should he rely on the insights of commentaries or just the insights which are original to him.

The answer MacDonald gives is, "Yes, [he should rely on books,] if he can do no better. But then I would have him read much, not with his sermon in his thoughts, but with the people in his heart.

I'm a young pastor but think that's great insight. If the only study we do is to help us develop great sermons, they'll be impotent sermons clearly delivered. If we study with the hearts in the mind we are much better positioned to develop Christ-centered people.

MIA

I'm taking a class the next two weeks in Dallas and plan to be pretty sporadic updating the blog. But I have to tell you about something my wife did for me yesterday.

For my birthday she got my a journal that she started writing in for me. The first several pages are filled with the things she loves about me. She left several pages blank so she can continue filling them in.

Ladies, if you want to give your husband one of the greatest gifts he'll ever receive, you should give this a try. It was a good birthday.

Why "Plain?"

Yesterday I talked briefly about a "plain" understanding of Scripture (hermeneutic). The day before that I made the claim that the way we understand Scripture is the most important theological question facing the Church today. Today, I want to give five quick reasons I think we must understand Scripture in a "plain" way - the way the original audience would have understood the same words.

1. It seems to have been Jesus' method.

Just one example: In Matthew 22:23-33, Jesus argues for the Truth of resurrection on the basis of verb tense. God says "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" rather than "I was." When Jesus interpreted Exodus 3, he believed God meant what He said in a plain sense.

2. The Fulfillment of Old Testament Prophecy

When prophecy was made in the Old Testament, it was specific. When prophecy was fulfilled in the New Testament it was fulfilled in light of a plain understanding of the prophecy. As readers hundreds of years before Christ read Micah 5:2, they would have had a specific village in mind when they heard "Bethlehem Ephrathah." Even the Magi from the East pointed Herod in the right direction (Matthew 2:3-6). Micah 5:2 is just one of hundreds of prophecies concerning Jesus which was fulfilled according to the plain sense of the original prophecy.

3. The Proper Use of Human Language in Relationship

If words do not have plain meaning, they are worthless. If I should not or cannot interpret your words in a specific way, you might as well not talk. God chose language to communicate to us and gave us language for us to communicate to each other. Any understanding of words other than a plain understanding makes the use of language pointless.

4. Objectivity Demands It

If words cannot be understood plainly, objectivity is impossible. If every word is up to individual interpretation, words mean whatever the audience wants them to mean.

5. Plain Interpretation is Core to the Gospel

If sin does not really equal literal death (Genesis 2:17), Jesus did not have to die on the cross. In fact, the temptation preceding the fall itself was a temptation from Satan to take God's words in a way that was something other than their plain meaning (Genesis 3:2-5). If a plain understanding of God's words with regard to the consequence of sin is not possible, we cannot be sure that we are understanding God's solution correctly.

Plain Understanding

Yesterday I mentioned that I think the question of how to understand Scripture is the most significant theological question that will have to be answered by the Church in the coming years. Although in a real sense our faith is in God, not the Bible, the Bible is one of the primary ways God reveals Himself to us. So, it's important that we understand it in the way God intended.

I believe in a "plain" hermeneutic (understanding of the Bible). That is, I believe our goal should be to understand the Bible in the way it would have been plainly understood by the original audience. This takes into account literary genre and figures of speech but tries to understand Scripture the way a carpenter in the first century would have understood it so that we can apply the principles to our lives.

I don't say I believe in a "literal" method because misinformed people take that claim literally. There are figures of speech, hyperbole, and poetry in Scripture that we should understand like we would understand any other figures of speech, hyperbole and poetry. The plain understanding of the poetry in Psalm 17:8 is not that God is a bird. The plain understanding of Jesus' use of hyperbole in Matthew 18:9 does not tell us all to become surgeons but does challenge us to take drastic action in avoiding sin. Jesus clarified Nicodemus' misunderstanding of his figure of speech in John 3:4 - "born again" does not mean we go back in our mother's womb.

When we interpret and apply Scripture our goal is to understand what the author intended us to understand.

The Bible doesn't contain some hidden secret code. It is not subjective. The Bible does not change with time, culture, or emotions. It is not primarily an allegory, illustration, or fable. It is God's revelation of Himself containing propositional Truth claims. We don't get to evaluate Scripture in light of our emotions, beliefs, and cultural trends. Scripture was written with a specific "plain" meaning for a specific "plain" purpose and our decisions, feelings, emotions and beliefs should be based on that.

Tomorrow I'll try to give you 4 reasons I think we have to use a "plain" hermeneutic when we interpret Scripture.

Theological Issue?

I had coffee yesterday with one of McKinney's mission partners who is serving in Japan. During the course of the conversation he asked me what was in my opinion the biggest theological question we (as a Church) would need to answer in the coming months and years.

I think it's the question of hermeneutics - how we study and understand the Bible.

I could have said "postmodernism," but when it comes right down to it postmodernism within the Church is a belief about how we should understand and apply the Scripture. It's a hermeneutical question before it's a question about worship styles, extent of the atonement, or social justice.

The issue of homosexuality in the Church is a significant issue. The Church is going to have to figure out pretty quickly what it believes about homosexuality and learn to address it in a Christlike way. But that issue is an issue of how we understand the Bible. Homosexuality is not the issue at all - Scripture speaks clearly about homosexuality. Any question we have about homosexuality is a question about how we understand Scripture.

There are some big questions facing the Church this century, but most of them only mask the real question which is a hermeneutic question.

Tomorrow I'll try to talk a bit about how I'm trying to answer the question. But before then, I'm interested: do you agree? Are there other questions you think are bigger questions that the Church will need to answer in coming months and years?

Love to Win or Hate to Lose

I had a great time last night at a meeting of some of the leadership at our church to plan for the fall. It's fun to get a bunch of people together who love their church for the purpose of dreaming about the future.

About a year ago I heard Dan Reeves (a former NFL football coach) give some advice to leaders: "You have to have people on your team who want to win. If you can't find them, find people who really, really hate to lose."

At McKinney, "winning" means developing Christ-centered people who make a difference. Last night, we had a lot of people who love seeing that happen, and a few who just hate the alternative. Either way, it's fun to be a part of a team who is excited about keeping the ball moving forward.

Perception

I read a quote by Ben Arment the other day that I think is significant for leaders - especially pastors. In one sense, what he says is obvious. In another sense, it's profound.

He said: "In your mind, you probably spend 90% of your time leading. But to your congregation, you spend 100% of your time communicating."

His quote, of course, is a bit over-simplified. It insinuates that communicating and leading are mutually exclusive, and they aren't. But Arment has a point.

Perception is everything. If a leader feels like he can lead without communicating well, he is in trouble. The vast majority of the people you lead may not ever sit with you in a strategic meeting. They will never get lunch with you or be on a board with you. They will be affected by the ripples of your leadership, but will not see your leadership.They will only hear what you say.

How does what you preach connect with where you're going? Can people connect the dots, or are you just assuming they'll "get it?" Do they understand the importance of Mark 6 to what they're trying to becoming as a Christ-centered person, or do they just understand how Mark 6 fits in the context between Mark 5 and Mark 7?

There's a big difference.

The direction has to be rooted in the Truth of the Scripture. But the Truth of the Scripture has to be lived out in the life of the believer, or your leadership is sunk. And you have to help people connect the dots.

Beach Balls

One of the toughest challenges for leaders is what I call the "Beach Ball Mentality" (The idea isn't new to me, but I've forgotten who I stole it from).

Imagine your office, home, church, or wherever it is you serve as leader as a multi-colored beach ball. Each department/location/ministry/family member represents one of the colors.

When you live life in the blue section, you see everything through shades of blue with the exception of times you move to the edge of blue and can catch just a glimpse of another color. All your decisions, wants, and desires are colored by your understanding of reality, which is blue. In the beach ball to the left, someone who lives in blue will have a hard time ever even knowing that yellow or pink exist, much less be able to understand things from their point of view. This is an unavoidable reality; the leader cannot just command blue to see yellow or pink.

The challenge of the leader is making decisions that affect the whole ball while considering the effect of those decisions on each color on the beach ball. This is particularly hard because the larger the organization, the more likely it is that the leader's own reality is separate from the reality of others in his organization. Leadership begins to be its own color.

This is why communication is vital for the leader in any organization. Although he can't touch every color, he has to touch those who do. Every decision that he makes must be with the entire ball in mind and must be framed in such a way that the person who lives entirely each color can understand and hop on board.

I'm convinced the beach ball mentality is at fault for the majority of our problems with music in the church, morale in the marketplace, and conflict at home. It isn't a problem with the people first and foremost; it's a problem with the leader.

The Problem and the Problem

A couple of weeks ago I got the chance to go fishing with my father and brother-in-law. We do that about once a year, and it's always a time I look forward to. Joe and Michael are guys I respect immensely for a lot of reasons, one of which is their business acuity. They've both run successful businesses and have an ability to think critically about complex business issues that I don't have. I don't have the experience or wisdom they do so one of my goals whenever we're together is to get them talking and try to remember as much as I can.

Last week Joe was telling some stories about hard times he had early in the banking industry. He had a staff member that was under-performing but who was trying as hard as she could. He didn't want to fire her because she was improving but he couldn't keep her around because she was under-performing and killing the bank. Then one day a business professor made this statement:

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your inability or unwillingness to do something about the problem."

The big problem wasn't the lady, it was Joe. He was unable to help her get better at the pace she needed to improve in order to help the bank, so he had to let her go. But he bore the brunt of the responsibility.

A lot of times when we face problems with others that we can't put our finger on, it may be because we've failed to glance in the mirror.

Elephants

From time to time I get to talk with people who try to convince me that all religions are equally valid. That is, all religions point in the same direction, and each has a different piece of the puzzle.

The parable most often used to illustrate the point is one of several blind men who encounter an elephant. One grabs its tail and describes something thin and flexible. A second man grabs the trunk and can't agree with the "thin" part, but also describes something flexible. Another grabs the elephant's leg and argues that the "something" isn't flexible at all.

The story goes on, but you get the point. The person sitting at Starbucks will argue that mankind's view of the supernatural is like trying to describe that elephant. Each religion describes a different piece.

I recently ran across a quote by Lesslie Newbigin that was new to me though after some more reading it seems to be a fairly popular critique. It's from his book "The Gospel in a Pluralistic Society."

"In the famous story of the blind men and the elephant. . . the real point of the story is constantly overlooked. The story is told from the point of view of the king and his courtiers, who are not blind but can see that the blind men are unable to grasp the full reality of the elephant and are only able to get hold of part of it. The story is constantly told in order to neutralize the affirmations of the great religions, to suggest that they learn humility and recognize that none of them can have more than one aspect of the truth. But, of course, the real point of the story is exactly the opposite. If the king were also blind, there would be no story."

In order to make any Truth claim (either for it, or against it), someone has to be able to see the whole elephant.

Strength/Bulk Training

I just had a conversation with our worship leader about muscle training. Neither of us is working out, mind you, we were just talking about it.

He was explaining that there's a difference between bulk training and strength training. Body Builders who are consumed with getting big muscles train one way; athletes who are concerned more with strength than physique train another way. As a result, some of the most scrawny baseball players could mop the floor with body builders in an arm-wrestling competition.

Strength training relies on tearing down the muscle - doing repetitions until you are physically exhausted and then letting the muscle rest. Bulk training is more concerned with the amount of weight a person lifts at one time than the endurance and actual strength of the muscle.

I meet a lot of bulky Christians. Their goal is to carry as much spiritual weight as they can - to put as many religious activities on their back as possible, and they're generally pretty proud of how they look. As a result, they're bulky, but they're not strong. When the "muscle" is tested, they cannot endure.

How is your fitness level? Are you strong, or just bulky?

Christ-Centered

We're doing a lot of talking these days as a church staff about what it looks like to develop Christ-centered people. It's actually a tough conversation because it's so easy to fall into legalism by prescribing things the Scripture doesn't require. When I think of a Christ-centered person, most of us naturally think of:

1. Someone who reads their Bible every day.

2. Someone who goes to church each week.

3. Someone who is involved in (perhaps leading) a small group.

4. Someone who gives 10 percent of their income to ministry.

5. Someone who goes on mission trips.

Those five things are good things to be sure, but reflect a limited (and probably legalistic) perspective on Christ-centeredness.

Could a person without access to a copy of the Scriptures in their language be Christ-centered? If so, #1 cannot be criteria for Christ-centerdness.

Could a person in a remote village in Zambia without a church in their village or adequate transportation be Christ-centered? If so, #2 and #5 cannot be criteria.

Could a person in the twelfth century, prior to the small group model of ministry, be Christ-centered? If so, we should not make #3 criteria for Christ-centeredness.

Could a person with zero monthly income be Christ-centered? If they could, we don't want to leave them out. #4 must not be a true criteria for distinguishing Christ-centeredness.

If Christ-centeredness is the goal, and the goal is realistic for all Christians in all places at all times, we might need to re-evaluate what that looks like in light of the Scriptures.

So what do you think? Are there biblical traits within a person we could examine to measure Christ-centeredness? When you think of your own desire to be Christ-centeredness, how do you measure your progress? Are you using a biblical or cultural standard?