Give or Take

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. We spent ours with our parents and my mom's parents, and had a great visit with all of them. I preached this past Sunday, so I was busy doing last minute sermon prep and didn't get around to finishing a book for the week. So, rather than review something that isn't fresh, I figured I'd write about something else that's on my mind this morning. I think I should be able to get back to a book next week.

I had two conversations this past week with friends of mine who are serving in two different churches in two different parts of the country. Each of the churches are struggling in different ways, but I think they all go back to the same source. In each case, the lead pastor was wounded by circumstances at some point in his ministry, in which he believed he had lost a large degree of credibility with his congregation.

One of the pastors received a "no confidence" vote several months ago by the church's governing body with regard to an issue of policy within the church. The other pastor saw several of his key leaders leave the church several years ago, and level accurate (but wrongly spoken) accusations against him and his leadership. In both cases, the pastors are deeply loved and respected individuals, but were wounded by someone or some circumstance in ministry.

Each of these pastors felt, as a result of the two different circumstances, their credibility with the congregation (or at least with the leadership in the church) was at stake. And in each case, the pastor has responded to a perceived lack of credibility by attempting to grab leadership back.

It looks different in each situation, but in both cases the pastors have reacted to an attack by going passive aggressive and attempting to grab credibility and leadership back. The result is resent from other leaders in the church, and mistrust by those within the church - even when they don't realize exactly what is happening. The end result, in both these cases if nothing changes, will be that the pastor grabs for credibility so hard that it becomes obvious he doesn't deserve it.

You see, leadership and credibility are given - never taken. People who grab and take followers are called dictators, not leaders. And although I don't think either of these pastors is intentionally manipulating his church, that's exactly what is happening. His knee jerk reaction is to grab for control when he feels as though he's losing it, rather than continuing to earn it despite the wounds.

In reality, neither of these pastors needs to be grabbing for control. They're both loved and respected, and had gobs of credibility before they started trying to take it. Their response to their woundedness could have allowed them to become heroes. Instead, they come across as bitter, power-hungry control freaks, and are inflicting others with wounds that are much more severe.