Going All The Way

Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv sent his newest book "Going All the Way" to me for free, in return for me blogging about it. That's a pretty good trade for me, seeing as how the weekly book review thing can be hard on the budget. If any of the rest of you have books hot off the press and wants to scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!

I don't know Craig personally at all, though my father-in-law is one of the pastors at the church next door to Craig's. He has nothing but great things to say about the entire LifeChurch.tv staff, and how helpful they have been in the few conversations those two churches have had together. And personally, though I've posted before some concerns I have about the multi-site movement, I have nothing but respect for Craig Groeschel and his leadership.

"Going All the Way" is subtitled, "preparing for a marriage that goes the distance." I anticipated it being a book geared towards couples who were engaged or newly married. It is probably a better book for singles or those in the initial stages of a relationship.

As a pastor leading a ministry of young singles who was once single myself, I've read stacks of books on dating, relationships, marriage, and other such topics. This one ranks up there with the best. Groeschel writes like he teaches - in a laid back, conversational way, but also in a way that is unabashedly biblical and practical. Most books on dating or marriage seem to be written at either a sixteen-year-old level or a sixty-five year level (Anyone else have to read advice on sex from Tim and Beverly Lahaye when you did premarital counseling? Gross....)

Groeschel begins by pointing out the futility of pursuing "the one." In reality, singles should be pursuing "The One" (Christ) long before deciding to pursue "the two." This is a concept that I've been teaching for years, but I have never put it as concisely and practically as Groeschel does in this book. Those couple of chapters alone are worth recommending the book to a single friend.

"Going all the way" also has a couple of helpful chapters to those who are considering living together. And because his authenticity and vulnerability shine through the whole book, he earns the right early to say some difficult things in these chapters. His advice to couples considering this move is straightforward, logical, and biblical... the triple threat.

Groeschel includes a chapter on priorities called "Leaving Room for the Big Rocks," that was the only chapter I wish wasn't in the book. It talks about priorities, and advises young couples to put things in the right order first: God, then spouse, etc... He says "What matters most has to come first." I struggle a little with the priority lists in a marriage (or in any other walk), because to me it can send a message that you are not able to serve priority #1 (God) while you're serving priority #2 (your spouse). Or, that you can't serve your spouse by serving God.

To me, priority list living in a marriage leads to a kind of separation between our spiritual life and our married life that is ultimately unhealthy. In reality, my wife selflessly loves me while she is selflessly loving the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). Similarly, the very best way I can love my life well is to serve God well. I realize that's nit picky, but I really do think it's important for young singles and young couples to realize that there isn't a hard distinction between priorities in life. Instead, all of life is a stewardship for which we're responsible.

Off my soapbox and back to the book. If you are a young single contemplating marriage at some point in your life, read this book. If you have a young single friend who is contemplating marriage at some point in their life, buy them this book. If you are a person who is doing ministry with singles, this is a great book to read and recommend. It is a quick, easy, informative, practical read that will be a great resource for any young singles you know.