BHAPs

If you've read anything by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, (Building Your Company's Vision, Built to Last), you're familiar with "BHAGs." BHAG stands for "Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal," and it's Collins and Porras's contention that every organization needs them in order to succeed. 

I'm equally convinced that every person needs at least one BHAP - Big, Hairy, Audacious Prayer. 

What specific prayer are you praying these days that is so Big, Hairy and Audacious that if God doesn't show up it cannot be done? 

If you don't have one, you're missing a great opportunity to see God at work through your life in your world. You're also making a statement about the size of your God or the extent to which you truly believe He wants to work in the world. 

If you really believed Matthew 19:26, and Philippians 4:13, and John 14:13 were true (and I could go on and on), what big hairy audacious prayer would you be praying? 

Clutter Free Christianity

Last week I read "Clutter Free Christianity" by Robert Jeffress. Jeffress is the pastor at First Baptist Church in Dallas, TX. I have only had the opportunity to meet Dr. Jeffress twice, and both times he was an extremely engaging, winsome, nice man. I know several people who attended the church he pastored prior to going to FBC Dallas, and say he is the quintessential pastor.

Clutter Free Christianity isn't a book on time management, or simplifying our lives, as the title first implied to me. Rather, it is a book designed to help Christians re-discover the things that are most important - "what God really wants from you - and what He wants to do for you."

Here are a couple of things I really liked about this book: Chapter 3 talks about "heart surgery," and contains a helpful reminder that the Christian life is not about behavior modification. We can self-help ourselves to spiritual death by making our external behavior the focus of our lives. Instead, the entire Christian life is about trusting God to carry out the work of transformation in our hearts.

Jeffress also has a helpful discussion about the reason we don't trust God. Basically, he says the decision to not trust God is a reflection of our unbelief that God has either the "character or the ability to fulfill His promises."

My big problem with Dr. Jeffress' book is that I don't feel as though Jeffress was as clear on the Gospel as he could have been. It starts on page 3, where he quotes Ephesians 2:8-9, and then writes "Those words are more than just an evangelical mantra; they are the bedrock of the Christian faith... However..." (emphasis mine).

You can't say "but" to something that is the "bedrock of the Christian faith."

The rest of the book is dedicated to helping believers understand what "God really wants from [us]," but in my opinion Dr. Jeffress makes that issue extraordinarily fuzzy. Dr. Jeffress claims the "essence of a right relationship with God [is] a heart fully devoted to Him and a heart that loves other people as much as we love ourselves" (pg. 4), and insinuates that if our lives don't reflect that we could be "surprised when [we] stand before God one day and hear His evaluation of [our lives]" (pg. 6). On the other hand he writes "To initially receive God's forgiveness by faith in God's grace and then revert to a system of good works to earn God's approval is like mixing oil and water" (pg. 38).

In my honest opinion, this book confuses the very issue it sets out to clarify.

By causing our "transformation" to be the implied grounds of our assurance of a relationship in Jesus Christ, I fear Dr. Jeffress' book will inevitably cause Christians to look in the wrong place for the Source of their security.

Let me put that a different way: When you trust that Jesus Christ paid your penalty on the cross, you have eternal life that is based solely on what He did (John 3:16, et al.). At the point you trust Christ, the Holy Spirit takes up residence and begins the work of conforming you to the image of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 3:16; Romans 8:9; Romans 8:29). That transformation often happens both internally and externally in the life of a believer, and at different paces for each individual.

However, when we look to our lives (or to the lives of others) as proof they are or are not believers, we look in the wrong place. No one has ever come to Christ by behaving better - so why would good behavior be the criteria we look at to decide where we, or someone else, stands with God?

Trying to figure out if someone has trusted Christ? Don't look at their lifestyle. Ask them.

Wondering if you are really "saved?" Don't look to see if you're behaving better these days. Ask yourself, "Have I trusted Jesus Christ alone as my Savior, Who paid for my sin on the cross and rose from the dead." The Pharisees behaved well, and they were whitewashed tombs.

Back to Dr. Jeffress' book: I don't remember the simple Gospel of eternal life through faith in Christ's death and resurrection alone being explicit a single time in the entire book. I have no doubt Dr. Jeffress believes it, and even preaches it, but it wasn't in this book. For a book on "Clutter-Free Christianity" to clutter the simplicity of the gospel and assurance in Christ alone is too bad.

Question?

This past week we started a new series at McKinney Church called "Living Hope." It's a series that answers several questions about Jesus, mostly from the book of 1 Peter. It's basic Christology, with a cool twist. 

We normally preach for 30 or 35 minutes, but for this series we're going to preach for 20-25 minutes and have a 10-15 minute question and answer session following the sermon. Because of our size, it isn't practical to open a mic for the Q&A, so we will be inviting people to send in their questions about the message via text message.

The idea isn't original to McKinney Church; several churches have tried this method with great success. It is a little bit of a stretch for us, mainly because it demands some extra personnel and technology (which is virtually never glitch-free). Even still, I'm pretty excited about the potential. 

I'm hoping the chance to interact with the message in real-time will cause people to move from passive to active listeners. Active listeners are more likely to be active appliers. 

We anticipate a pretty big response, and that we will be unable to answer all the questions in the main service. So, we've created a Living Hope Blog where I'll attempt to tackle most of the questions we can't get to in the service. 

Our Creative Arts Team has been working hard to make this thing possible. Seth and David do a great job, and most of it is behind the scenes. If you're a McKinneyite and see them, be sure to tell them "thanks." 

Depending on the response, my blogging over here might be a bit sporadic next week. Be sure to check the Living Hope Blog next week to see what we come up with. It should be an exciting week.

Gut Leadership

A lot of what I do as a young leader is instinctive. Sometimes an idea works, sometimes it doesn't. But I'm not always sure why I do what I do - there isn't a specific principle I'm working from, I just rely on my gut. The gut is a pretty important tool for a young leader. Sometimes you're able to feel things before you're able to explain them.

 
Of course, the gut can be dangerous, because it isn't always logical. You have to trust your gut, but never alone. The best young leaders I know surround themselves with more seasoned leaders, ask as many questions as they can (Proverbs 15:22), and take copious notes. They also pay attention to what they're doing, and make it their aim to never repeat mistakes. 

One of the responsibilities I feel as a young leader is to take good notes on the lessons I'm learning. In fact, that's the primary reason for this blog. As I go, and as the stakes get higher, I want to be able to better define my gut. The blog forces me to move leadership principles and lessons from my gut to my brain and out my fingers. It forces me to be logical, and helps me remember what I'm learning. I could keep a journal, but then I wouldn't worry about anyone else reading my thoughts, and I wouldn't be as careful. 

If you're reading my blog, you're helping me manage my gut. Thanks. 

Giving

There seems to be a lot of buzz out there right now about President Obama's tax plan, which could dramatically affect the amount of deductions a person could receive from charitable giving. Some of the people who wear tin-foil hats believe we're headed for a time in the very near future in which there is zero tax incentive for giving to churches and para-church ministries. 

Who knows? I may need to invest in one of those hats. 

Last week, I had a really good discussion with a couple of guys who asked if I was freaked out by the potential for such a plan. I'm a young pastor with a heart for the parachurch ministry as well. There is no doubt this plan would dramatically affect the budget of many ministries out there. 

But here's my honest opinion: That kind of plan would likely be awful for churches and parachurch ministries, but great for Christians. 

Make no mistake, it's a real blessing to be able to receive a tax break on charitable donations. But if that is the only reason (or even primary reason) Christians give, we might as well do away with it and start over from scratch.

We should give because (1) We're commanded to, (2) God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7), (3) It demonstrates our dependence on God (Luke 6:38),  (4) it demonstrates that we know whose stuff we have (Psalm 24:1), and (5) it reflects a desire to invest in eternal things (Matthew 25:14-30).

If we're giving primarily so we can keep more of our money, we are at best teetering on the brink of idolatry, and the very best thing President Obama could do for Christians is to save us from ourselves. 

Restatement

I've mentioned before that one of my favorite people to listen to is Andy Stanley. Strictly from a communication standpoint, I can't think of many people in America that I would rather hear. I love his style, and his ability to communicate wisdom in a transferable, memorable way.

If you're looking for some good insight on leadership, Stanley's Leadership Podcast is a great resource.     

One of the things I love about Andy is that he seems to be absolutely unable to communicate a big point just once. Ever. He always restates his main point multiple times. I think it's compulsive for him.    

Last week I was listening to the Leadership Podcast at the gym, and Andy was giving a talk about communication to a group of several leaders. One of his main points about communication was that communicators need to be sure to always ask the question, "What do they need to know?" (And he repeated the question three times). 

He encouraged teachers to hone down their lesson to be able to answer this question in one sentence; this is the one thing, the big idea, the main point. Then he gave several examples of "main things" from sermons he had preached in the past. And as he said each one of those main points, he repeated them at least twice. And they were just illustrations. They were "main points" from the past - not even from this particular talk - but he was so disciplined in restating the point that he repeated them instinctively.    

As a leader, you know the main point. It oozes out of you. You've lived with it for 52 hours during the week. You've thought about it, you've created it, you've dreamed about it, you've tweaked it, and coddled it, and illustrated it, and applied it, and you could say it backwards and upside down.  And you will take it for granted that the audience will know it too, if you don't become like Pavlov's dog; every time you say the main point, say it twice. At least.    

Every time you say the main point, say it twice. At least.    

See how that works?   When you repeat a statement back-to-back you force your audience to focus on it. You attach little flashing red lights to the statement that let them know they need to remember it; that every thing in your message is tied to that point, and if they miss it, they'll miss the point. It gives them a chance to write it down, commit it to memory, or question whether or not it's really true. Once they've done that, you have them.    

Every time you say the main point, say it twice. At least. 

Madness!

If I were President Obama, my first item of business would be to declare today and tomorrow national holidays. What recession? What bailout? Iran has nuclear weapons? Who cares? March Madness starts today. 

These are, hands down, my favorite two days of the year. Beginning in 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 42 seconds, we will have nonstop college basketball for the better part of 4 days. 

I finalized my bracket this morning. We're doing a staff bracket contest together, so I can't tell you my final four until the games begin and the ability to change picks has passed - there are several cheaters on our staff who would love to peek over my shoulder to try to gain an advantage. 

Last year, I was narrowly edged out by the Canadian, whose method of picking is to go with the team who has the most cuddly mascot. 

It took me months to recover from being beat by a guy who waxes his eyebrows. 

But I'm back, better than ever, and ready to win it all. 

The way I see it, I've got about 2 hours worth of work left in me today. After that, I'll have to take a mental health day. If only "March Madness" was a legitimate excuse...

When I'm President, it will be. 

Corruption

Watching the news these days reminds me of something I heard Dr. John Hannah say during my time at Dallas Seminary: 

"Guys, corruption is stupid. Don't be a fool. You can get away with it for a while, but not forever. You can safely walk across the interstate wearing a blindfold too... once or twice."

Apply

One of the things I'm constantly thinking through is how to make my sermons stay on the forefront of peoples' minds throughout the week. This past week I preached about "All-in Availability" from Acts 28 where we saw Paul's example of availability to what God was doing through Paul's circumstances, and through Paul's communication. 

Obviously, one of my goals for that sermon is that people in the congregation would still be considering how to be "all-in available" on Wednesday and Thursday. That's an uphill battle. 

Sunday we tried to do something unique; to cast people out of their comfort zone and encourage them to respond in a physical way that isn't typical "McKinney." The goal wasn't to gauge a response, but to sear the commitment in our minds so that we couldn't forget before lunch. 

Reality: by lunchtime on Sunday, some of our friends had a chance to be all-in available in a specific situation, and they completely missed it. It's not their fault - they're just representative of a challenge we all face. We hear and see thousands of messages every day encouraging us to take action in a specific area; from following hard after Christ to changing the brand of toilet paper we use.  It is only natural that some of those get lost in the shuffle. 

So I have an assignment for you to comment on: Think back to a sermon that truly made an impact on your life; one that was still in your mind on Wednesday or Thursday. What was it about that message that was memorable for you? What helped it connect with you in such a unique way? 

Worship Venues

A fairly common trend in churches these days is to offer several different worship venues/services to allow people with different musical tastes to be in an environment where they feel comfortable. Churches like the Baptist church down the road offer a traditional service with choir, organ, and hymn books, followed by a contemporary service with a band, screens, and worship team. Other churches are even more specialized - they have a funk service, an alternative service, and an acoustic service. 

We currently have two services with a moderately contemporary feel - we'll never be confused as being "cutting edge," but we're not stuck in the seventies either.  I'm not saying our church will never go there but for right now, not having multiple worship venues is important to me. I like the discipline of it. 

On any given Sunday, there are two or three songs that I just don't like; only one or two that I do. At any church, not just ours. That's not abnormal. A "great" CD is one with 3 or 4 hits out of 10 songs - that's why iTunes is so popular.

Even when I served as a worship leader, there were only ever about two songs per service that I really connected with. I'm okay with that, because I've been around long enough to know that the songs that don't connect with me are meaningful to someone else, and help them respond to God more than my favorites. 

There is a selflessness involved in worship, and our music preference reinforces that. By creating many different music venues for a congregation, I worry that we're reinforcing selfishness and creating intentional disunity, which only serves to hamper spiritual maturity. 

A spiritually mature person doesn't worship better because of the style of music - he worships better because of what God is doing in his life.  

Illustrations

One of the real challenges for a teacher/preacher/communicator is finding illustrations that actually illustrate. 

My first sermon at McKinney Church included an illustration about me standing at the top of a high dive, trembling with fear. I told the story well, engaged the congregation well, and transitioned away from the illustration well, but the illustration failed miserably. 

How do I know? Everyone remembers the illustration; nobody remembers the point. 

If people remember the illustration but not the point, you have the relationship of the two backward: the point becomes the illustration and the illustration becomes the point. 

Confusing? That's the point... 

You want people to remember your point, and you want the illustration to help them do that. Sometimes stories are too good to tell. They're so good they distract from the point you're trying to make. 

A good illustration helps your point be more memorable. The best illustrations become forever connected with the point you were trying to make. For example: Ask any of the teenagers from my youth ministry years what they think of when they think of "crocodiles." I have forever ruined going to the zoo for them...

Storytelling is probably my biggest strength as a communicator, but is also the area that can crater my effectiveness more quickly than anything else because it so easily steals the focus from what I'm really trying to say.  

Organization

I'm not by nature an organized person. The people who work with me are always shocked when I tell them that, because I routinely keep my desk clear of clutter and excess piles. Even though I'm disorganized by nature, I can't function when my desk is messy. It's a nasty paradox that is just part of the burden of living as me...

Because I'm not an organized person, I don't even do good at organizing my organizational systems. I currently have a filing system for Bible Study, a filing system for meeting notes, and a filing system for articles. That is okay, until I get a magazine article in a staff meeting, and then I'm toast. I could streamline those filing systems, but that would take organization and I'm not by nature an organized person. Did I mention that already?

 

Enter: My two new best friends. 

About a month ago, the student ministry guys turned me on to Microsoft OneNote. I don't know which rock I was sleeping under when people started using this, but it has made my life a billion times easier. 

OneNote performs the functions of Word, Excel, and several other programs, and interfaces with Outlook, Power Point, and your web browser. It allows you to type, file, and copy information just like Word, but files your information in a notebook form. You can have as many notebooks as you want, and it will automatically file them for you according to grouping. Now I have a "work" notebook with separate sections for personnel, meetings, and general stuff. Within each of those sections I have separate tabs for various things pertaining to that section. 

If I had had OneNote during seminary, it would have saved me hours. Set it up with a microphone, start recording in OneNote, and take notes in a folder for whichever class you're in. When you go back to look at your notes, and realize you wrote down an incomplete quote, just click on the note and it will playback the recording at the exact point you took the note. That's sick. Just download the free trial and give it a whirl... trust me. 

Best Friend #2 is Windows Search 4.0. Since sometimes my disorganized style gets the best of me, I misplace documents, emails, and calendar appointments I need to find. Windows Search lets me do a quick search of my computer using keyword to find exactly what I'm looking for. 

Windows Search works in a similar way to Google Desktop, but will search OneNote files. Google Desktop will not, and I didn't want to hurt the feelings of Best Friend #1. Both Windows Search and Google Desktop are free, so you're not costing yourself any money for this convenience. There is no excuse not to have it.

One of my New Years Resolutions was to go paperless in 2009. Because of my two new best friends, I'm well on my way. I'm scanning in old files, and not adding any new paper files to my disorganized system. Now, they're all at my fingertips. 

Try it... you'll like it. 

Gray

A lot of my counseling opportunities come when people struggle with how to live in the gray. They need to make a decision in an area that doesn't deal with a moral issue, or a principle that is clear from Scripture, and those are difficult decisions. 

Unfortunately, those types of decisions make up the majority of the decisions we make. I've already made several decisions since I woke up this morning at 5am. Most of them were not black and white decisions. The Bible didn't tell me whether to wear a green shirt, orange shirt, blue shirt, or red shirt (I opted for green so I could wear orange tomorrow). Cheerios vs. toast was not a moral decision. I could have taken a couple of routes to work this morning, and wouldn't have sinned in taking any of those routes, but I chose one and didn't think much about it. 

Other decisions aren't quite so cut and dry. Should we participate in an activity where some people might do something immoral, although we ourselves will abstain? Should I exercise my freedom in a specific area, even though others might be offended?

Although the Bible doesn't give clear principles for every situation we face it does give clear principles for being wise in the gray issues, and especially the gray issues that could become black and white. 

In 1 Corinthians 2:2, Paul reminded the Corinthians that their entire focus should revolve around one thing: "Jesus Christ and Him crucified." Then he spends the entire book helping them understand what that looks like. 

They should be careful when they fight in church, because divisions can be a distraction from Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 1-4). However, they should be quick to distance themselves from people who violate the black and white because those violations are a distraction from Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 5), though their distance should be handled internally so as not to cause a distraction from Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 6). The Corinthians were to have marriages that pointed to Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 7), and should avoid engaging their freedom in such a way that would confuse the message of Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 8-9), realizing from history that although everything might be permissible, "not everything is beneficial" for pointing to Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 10). Instead, public and private worship (1 Corinthians 11-14) should always point to our hope of resurrection (1 Corinthians 15) which has been made possible because of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. 

How do you decide in the gray? A pretty simple (and scriptural) place to start is by asking the question, "Will this distract myself or someone else from the message of Jesus Christ and Him crucified?" 

Purim

Tonight at sundown, our Jewish friends will begin their celebration of the feast of Purim. Purim celebrates the time when God protected the Israelites from Haman's evil plot to kill them, recorded in the book of Esther. 

As a part of this feast, the Megillah (Book of Esther) will be read tonight in synagogues all across the country in what amounts to a really cool tradition that you should experience at some point. 

In most places, the book is read, or more literally sung, in a traditional chant which adds drama to the story. But unlike many Jewish feasts which are celebrated in a sober, respectful, reverent way, Purim is a big party. Many people write Haman's name on their feet, and as the story is read they stomp their feet and boo at every mention of his name. They cheer, yell, and use noise makers to participate in the story. They play pranks on each other, and spend a lot of time laughing - all to celebrate God's rescue of their nation from an evil plot.

When was the last time you threw a party as a reminder of what God has done in your life? When was the last time you got so excited you stomped your feet or cheered at the reading of God's Word? As a Christian who has been rescued from even greater peril than the peril posed by Haman, when was the last time you celebrated? 

Just wondering...

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I might as well get this over with... Sorry for the long review.

I picked up "Shepherding a Child's Heart" because my sister-in-law suggested I read it. Honestly, I hadn't ever heard of the book before. But this week, it seemed like everywhere I went someone was talking about it. I had a couple stop me in Panda Express on Monday who spent 15 minutes raving about the book. Some of our other friends have mentioned it in several different conversations, and all the reviews were extremely positive. A lot of parents feel like this book has really helped them.

Here are the things I love about this book: (1) It is the first parenting book I have read that emphasizes heart-change above simple behavior-modification strategies for parents. Our job is not to get our kids to behave, it is to point them toward Jesus. Tripp says "It is impossible to get from preoccupation with behavior to the gospel," (p. 67) and I think he's absolutely right. (2) Tripp does a good job of emphasizing communication with our children from a young age. We have to understand, and help them understand why they do the things they do.

With that said, there are a couple of things that I don't love about this book. The first one I talked about on Tuesday. Trip has a tendency to characterize many things as "unbiblical" that don't find a black-and-white basis in Scripture, and I find that extremely troubling. It helps him make a stronger point - everyone wants to raise kids in a biblical manner - but I don't believe a parent who grounds their child, or pushes them to make good grades a goal are living in direct violation of a clear biblical command. Tripp says they are.

The second thing is an even touchier subject (no pun intended). But, before I comment on Tripp's chapter on "the rod," I need to make a disclaimer:

I am not against spanking. If it were not for God's grace and some good spankings, I would be in the federal penitentiary today. There will no doubt be times in my son's life where he commits an offense for which the best discipline will be a spanking, and I intend to give it.

However. I do not believe "the rod" is the only God-ordained method for disciplining our child. Tripp makes a strong inference in that direction. In fact, he infers that if we want to be "biblical," we must follow the passages that talk about "the rod" in a strictly literal sense. "The rod" does not simply refer to "discipline," but to "spanking."

In fact, one of the most troubling parts of the book for me was an illustration Tripp used on pages 29-30 recalling conversations with his child:

"Father: Do you remember what God says Daddy must do if you disobey?

Child: Spank me?

Father: That's right. I must spank you. If I don't, then I would be disobeying God. You and I would both be wrong..."

In my view, that kind of conversation raises a whole host of problems. First, if a child is old enough to truly follow the logic of that conversation, he is probably too old to spank. Second, even Tripp admits there are some times you would overlook an offense (p. 111). If some offenses are okay for a parent to overlook, doesn't the above conversation give the impression to the child that you are sinning against God by not spanking him for every offense? Finally, God hasn't specified that we have to spank our child for every act of disobedience. He simply said, "the rod" will save them from death (Prov 23:13-14), demonstrate love for our child (Prov 13:23), and will bring us peace and delight (Prov 29:17). God never specifies which offenses deserve a spanking. He never specifies how many spankings a child is supposed to receive. And before long, that child is going to read his Bible and understand God didn't say Daddy needed to spank him for every offense, and feel as though God was being used as a scapegoat to justify punishment for something that may or may not have deserved it. That is a huge problem.

God has certainly been creative in the way He has disciplined me (Hebrews 12:7-11). Thankfully, He doesn't apply the rod every time, or for every offense. And I think it is okay (and not unbiblical) for parents to feel the freedom to follow His lead in being creative as we discipline our children.

Overall, there are parts of this book that I loved, and parts of the book that I strongly disliked. I can certainly see why so many parents are passionate about Tripp's book in a positive way, but think the book should be read (and recommended) carefully, because I believe some of Tripp's dogma is misplaced.

I Ain't Comin' Back

Last week I got the chance to have lunch with a man named Dolphus Weary. Dr. Weary is an African American pastor from Mississippi who does a lot of work in the area of rural renewal - helping people (particularly African Americans) in rural areas receive the education, healthcare, and other tools they need to thrive in society. Most importantly, he stands tall for the Gospel. 

Dr. Weary is also very knowledgeable in the area of racial reconciliation within the church. As a pasty white, mid-western born whippersnapper, I had almost nothing in common with this larger-than-life African American pastor from the South. But we had what I think was (for me) a paradigm-shifting conversation. 

Dolphus has written a book called "I Ain't Comin' Back," that chronicles his story growing up in rural Mississippi during a time of intense racial tension, and you need to read it. 

Our country has come a long way in the past 50 years. Regardless of my political feelings, I'm proud to be a part of the generation that was instrumental in electing this country's first African American president. But we still have a long way to go. This book will remind you why.

The wounds of the past run deep in a culture, but there are people on both sides of the race barrier that have begun the process of reaching out to one another. It's a much more delicate process than just inviting white people to come to your black church, or vice-versa. It is a process that will take time. But we are making progress at a rapid pace, and I am excited to be a part of it.

A-biblical or Unbiblical?

As Christians, we're not always very good at distinguishing between "Unbiblical" and "A-Biblical" things. 

Something is a-biblical if it is an issue not addressed in Scripture. The Internet, for example, is a-biblical. The Bible doesn't provide us black and white instructions regarding the use of the Internet. What we decide in a-biblical areas must depend on the principles we gain from Scripture that speaks in other areas. Ephesians 5:3 tells us that among us "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality..." which certainly governs the ways we use the Internet. There are lots of passages in the Bible that give principles concerning our involvement in a-biblical things, but something is not unbiblical simply because it is not found in Scripture. 

Something is unbiblical if it directly contradicts the clear teaching of Scripture. Drunkenness is unbiblical. Adultery is unbiblical. Idolatry is unbiblical. 

I'm reading a book right now about parenting that speaks a lot about "unbiblical" approaches to parenting, like grounding your children. I respectfully disagree with that use of the term "unbiblical." Your specific disciplinary technique for raising children is an a-biblical practice. Failure to discipline your children would be unbiblical (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4). The author believes grounding your children is an unwise practice, and I might be inclined to agree; but I reject the idea that a parent who grounds their child is doing something unbiblical. I do not believe it is a sin to ground your child.

We like black and white. We like a list of the rules. It is easier to declare something unbiblical and be done with it, but that isn't the way wise living works. There are many things in our lives today, whether in raising children or picking out a shirt to wear for work, which are decisions for which the Bible does not give us black and white answers. In those areas we have to apply Biblical principles, use the brain God gave us, and ask Him for His perspective (James 1:5) to guide us as we go. But we must also resist the urge to make blanket statements about "unbiblical" things which in reality the Bible says nothing about. 

Day with a Perfect Stranger

A Day with a Perfect Stranger, by David Gregory is the sequel to the fictional book "Dinner with a Perfect Stranger." "Dinner with a Perfect Stranger" is a book about a man named Nick who is struggling through a crisis of faith, and ends up at dinner with Jesus. It sounds like a far-fetched plot, but it works.

"A Day with a Perfect Stranger" is the story of Nick's wife Mattie. It seems the fact that Mattie's husband claims to have had dinner with Jesus has thrown their marriage into a bit of a tizzy. She leaves for a business trip to Tuscon, hoping to use the time to ponder her next step in the relationship which she is fairly certain will be a step out the door. But on the airplane, she meets the nicest Man...

"A Day with a Perfect Stranger" contains help with the problem of evil, instruction on ultimate fulfillment, the character and attributes of God, the difference between religion and Christianity, and the meaning and purpose for creation... all in a fictional book you will be able to read during a one-hour lunch. I'm not a crier by nature, but the way this book ends turned me into a blubbering idiot.

"Dinner with a Perfect Stranger" and "Day with a Perfect Stranger" are great reads for people who want a little encouragement in their Christian life. They are also great reads for friends who are pondering Christianity but aren't quite ready to trust Christ. Both books are fictional, and not philosophical, but would be perfect for someone who is interested in spiritual Truth presented in an easy-to-read way.

These books are The Shack without the theological potholes. If you like theological fiction, you really ought to pick these books up. Trust me.