Jon and Kate

Kari and I haven't ever watched "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" but last night as I was forcing my wife to watch college baseball, I started seeing all my friends' facebook statuses talking about the show. We flipped over to the show and watched about 3/4 of the episode yesterday evening - enough that I didn't sleep most of the night.

I don't know why it bothered me so much. As a pastor, I have conversations with couples on a way-too-regular basis who are contemplating divorce. But to hear a couple sit on national television and justify their selfishness so boldly while eight beautiful children played in the background really messed me up.

It is not "best for your children" to leave their mother unless there is some kind of abuse involved. Period. The fact that Mom and Dad are fighting does not mean you have to get divorced for the sake of your children; it means you need to suck it up and figure out how to get along like adults.

Instead of doing what's best for their kids, Jon and Kate are showing their eight children that you don't have to solve disagreements - you just have to walk away. You don't have to keep your promises to people - just walk away when they're too hard to keep. They are teaching their kids that "Mom" and "Dad" are titles, not roles, and that love is a feeling, not a commitment.

Jon and Kate are making a selfish, egocentric, immature decision that seems best for them in the moment. But in doing so they are demonstrating a model of marriage that will negatively impact eight children for the rest of those kids' lives. My heart breaks for their marriage, and for those sweet innocent lives that will carry baggage they didn't choose for the rest of their lives.