Touchable

You hear it said from time to time that leadership is a lonely spot. That's true - especially as a pastor. Right or wrong, people view pastors differently from everyone else. They think we're closer to God than them, struggle with less sin than them, and are only interested in "churchy" things.

I truly think loneliness is one of the major reasons so many people drop out (or sin out) of ministry. Deep down inside all of us, we have a desire to know and be known. And we see ministry as an inhibitor of that, so we feel forced to make a choice: would I rather be employed by a church, or be loved by others?

Obviously, it's a false dilemma, but it's one a lot of my pastor friends face. They're constantly living in fear of being "found out." And it's not that they're living in high-handed rebellion against God. Those people generally want to be found out.

My friends are the ones who are afraid they'll lose their jobs if people find out they don't always love waking up at 6 in the morning for Bible study, or that their face doesn't always glow after their morning quiet times. They're the people who are afraid that people will lose respect for them if they realize their pastor's wife doesn't always like him, or that his kids don't always look like they just rolled out of a J. Crew catalog. My friends worry that they're not a good pastor if they don't put on the mask that says everything is okay.

I realized some time ago that I'm not a better Pastor when I wear my "everything's okay" mask; I'm a better Pharisee. And the challenge with the Pharisees, according to Matthew 23:13 is that they were actually keeping people away from Jesus by pretending to have it all together. If we pretend like we've got it all together when we don't, people think a relationship with God is only for perfect people.

I'm not saying the pastor has a license to commit sin, but that he does have a license to be human. I work really hard to stay touchable with the people I get to serve - not to show off my sin, but to show off my Savior. I think it's important for them to know that I'm not perfect, but that I'm trying as hard as I can through the power God gives me to be Christlike. It's not any easier for me than it is for them just because I get paid to do what I do. And although I try to make sure as a leader in the church my life is above reproach, I realize when it isn't, the worst possible thing I can do is hide it.